I was asked this question during a recent support group meeting.
In recent months my mom had ER visits for 1) an infection..."probably pneumonia" that resulted in a 5 night hospital stay, 2) a broken shoulder due to a fall (she has difficulty remembering to use her walker), and 3) was found on the floor in her room recently with a lasceration at the back of her head which resulted in 3 staples and no other damage per scans.
She is now living in the best skilled nursing facility in the area and has the funds to support that. I am POA and only child. Moved mom to my city about 2 yrs ago.
Clearly there will be more falls/incidents ahead, and at the meeting I was asked what I would allow if she fell and broke her hip. Would I allow surgery and put her through physical therapy she will likely have problems doing, or will I set up hospice or palliative care?
Quality of life was the issue raised.
My goal has always been to keep her safe and comforable.
Twice during recent episodes she turned to me and said, "If I don't make it, I love you."
I lean very strongly toward comfort care rather than surgery in the event that she would break a hip or pelvis.
Your thoughts...or personal experiences?