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Good luck today Lea!!
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LL, a prayer for strength for you today:

"The Lord is my strength and shield.
    I trust Him with all my heart.
He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.
    I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.
The Lord gives his people strength.
    He is a safe fortress..."

Psalm 28:7-8

LL and others: yes, adoptees have a right to know about their birth parents (I hope no one thought I was implying this). My situation with my father was not the same as any adoptee's.

In my personal experience, the adoptees that I know who attempted deeper/closer relationships with their bio parent/s did not go well. I get it — it's extremely complicated. My own maternal grandfather was a kinship adoptee (his Mom gave him to her sister, and he knew it). He was somewhat of a hot mess. I know there are countless reunions that do go well and stay well... I just don't know of any personally.

Tangentially, I have often wondered why adoption is so expensive in the US (IDK about other countries). When philanthropists donate millions and billions to causes, why doesn't just one of them create a fund to support adoption? Vetting prospective parents should still be as strict, but why should the cost be punitive and prohibitive? I know why it's expensive... I'm just wondering why the parents have to shoulder all that cost.
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Lea: Good luck tomorrow.
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Praying here in Central Florida for your treatment, tomorrow.

I bet, if you drew a map, you could see us all joining hands across the country, up to Canada, over to Great Britain, and, I think, down to Australia.

We are all praying for your treatment tomorrow, and for the taper just to ease up on those w/d symptoms, already.

Just to get a picture-Are you able to walk (with a walker?) to your infusion, or do you need a wheelchair to get where you need to go tomorrow?

Hugs to you.
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((((Lea)))) Praying for a better day for you tomorrow, for strength and peace and equilibrium (lack of dizziness). May the IVIG treatment help restore you to health.

Geaton - "IMHO the person who raises you lovingly, sacrificially and well is your actual parent". I agree, in so many very meaningful ways they are, but I do understand the desire for adopted people to want to find out about and connect with their bio parents.

I am so sorry you had an alcoholic dad too. Your mother likely made the best decision to run away from him with you.
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Lord I lift up Lealonnie before Your throne and ask that You will give her strength to endure the IVIG treatment tomorrow, and that You would once and for all remove the dizziness that is stopping her from living and enjoying her life.
Reverse any damage that these treatments have done to her body and restore her health completely. I am thanking You in advance for doing just that.
In Jesus name I pray.
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Really good point that needs brought up.

My so’s mother and father were both kinship adopted in the 1940s and 50s. Mil was adopted by her mother’s sister and her husband. Fil was adopted by his mother’s second husband. They’ve both had conditions that supposedly didn’t run in their family that nearly killed them.
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Lea and Geaton,

Right after we adopted our daughter, a good friend of mine said to me, “I hope your daughter never wishes to meet her birth parents. You know that I was adopted as a baby and I have never had any desire to meet my biological parents. I love my parents who raised me and I consider them my parents. I feel that it would be a slap in the face to them if I searched for my biological parents.”

I told my friend, You have a lovely family and I know how much you love them and how much they love you but I don’t share your feelings.

If our daughter wants to meet her biological parents one day, I don’t see it as a “slap in the face” at all.

I told my friend that I would support my daughter’s decision no matter how she felt and that I am not threatened by the fact that she may want to meet her bio family when she turns 18 and signs the registry at the adoption agency to schedule a meeting.

I consider it to be natural to want to know about your family history.

I said to my friend that our love for our daughter was the same as if I had given birth to her but I acknowledge that she has birth parents and one day it may be important for her to know about them.

I have a biological child too (our surprise baby) and our love is identical for each of our daughters. Their love for us as their parents is the same.

It is a personal choice. Some adoptees do search. Others like my friend don’t have the desire.

Our daughter knows that we have never had a problem with her meeting her birth parents. We would be happy to meet them too.

Our daughter appreciates that we support her and has told us that she will always love us. It’s not a competition between the birth parents and us.

I feel like if parents have established a good relationship with their children while they were growing up, then meeting their biological parents will not interfere with anything.

I felt sad when my friend told me that she didn’t think our daughter should ever want to search for her parents.

I respect my friend’s choice but I feel that she shouldn’t impose her views on others who have been adopted.
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Lea,

Yes, you’re right, once in a while is fine. Just not on a regular basis.
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Geaton......an adoptee has a birthright to know where they originated from which has nothing to do with who was a "good parent". A non adoptee cannot comprehend the need to know, which we pray isn't rooted in drama. I am the product of an affair too, and bio mom took bio dad's name with her to the grave 😑.

Nhwm, eating unhealthy food once in a while is good for the soul. Try it sometime. 😁 Life is short and we're all gonna die anyway, I'm sorry to say.

I'm off to get blood drawn for the IVIG tomorrow. I'm so exhausted and dizzy today I'm literally non functioning. Not even playing on my phone or tablet. God give me strength.
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Golden, that's not even 1/8th of the entire story. My friend (who is a writer) did eventually write a book about it (and it includes the story that I posted earlier). I'm not adopted but my father apparently was a bad alcholic so my Mother ran away with me to protect us. She never divorced him. He knew where I was all my life but never bothered to sober up or visit. IMHO the person who raises you lovingly, sacrificially and well is your actual parent. Any egg/sperm donors don't get to have that beautiful title just because. So, as much as I love my good friend, I never shared her enthusiasm for her bio family search. She had the world's best adoptive parents. I could never understand why that wasn't enough for her, except that maybe she liked the drama. And by maybe, I mean definitely.

Many of my adult friends are adopted, and have gone on to also adopt. They are heroes!

LL, still in Hell's Kitchen (aka southeast FL) with the 2 ancient Snapping turtles but thinking of you every day!
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I've found the adoption stories interesting. My sil was adopted. Via DNA testing, he found a maternal half brother living within miles of him -- and they are both living in a state different from where they were adopted. Amazing how they ended up in the same city thirty-plus years later. They get together regularly now. Through the brother, who had already connected with his mom, he found out that his birthmom had passed just a week before, so he did not get to meet her. He also found his birthfather. While he could find no contact for him, he did find a sibling of his birthfather, so contacted her. She said it would not be a good idea for my sil to get in touch with his birthfather, so he has honored that request.

I hope your dizzyness is better today, Lea.

My cousin has copper molds all over her kitchen. Well, at least she used to, I haven't been in her house for twenty years.
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Lea: Congratulations on winning the bid! Continued prayers, dear lady.💚
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Lea - awesome buy!!! I love copper cookware.

So sorry you are at a 9 in dizziness but impressed that you went ahead and made that buy anyway. Praying that you are better by Tuesday for your treatment and that it does you some good.

Smoked turkey sounds good, but, I am such a fan of good old fashioned roast turkey. One of my fave meals.

Geaton - that's quite a story. My godson is adopted and he was able to get in touch with his bio mother and his bio father, who had not stayed together. His conclusion was that he had done well with his adoptive family.
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Lea, Look up, Fresh Mint Coin Jewelry on Etsy. Lots of ‘mercury dime’ jewelry! Oooooh, Lucky Liberty on Etsy has some pretty coin jewelry too.

I have made jewelry with antique buttons before but never coins. I have done rosaries and used ‘saint’ medals so, it’s similar.

I always think of you when I see a dime. I say an extra prayer for you every time I see a dime.
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LL, my best friend from Jr high/ high school was adopted in NY. She was 1/2 Japanese and 1/2 American mutt (her words). Not sure how her very lovely adoptive parents managed it but eventually they got the last name of the birth Mom. An uncommon Japanese family name. There were only 5 in the US. One was here in Minneapolis (where I was living), so in 1980 she asked me (a college student) to call the number for that name. She said it most likely wasn't that woman. But, it was. And she was *so* unhappy to be found. I had sweat rings down to my waist by time I got off the phone with her.

She wouldn't give up the name of the bio Dad to my friend so she spent decades looking for him. She finally found him also here in the midwest but he had passed away and was some sort of felon. My best friend was the result of an affair, and the birth mom left the midwest to give birth in NY because the pregnancy was scandalous, especially to her very conservative and traditional Japanese family. They never knew about the birth of my friend.
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Hey, LL!
Congrats on those copper molds. They sound lovely!

You are never far from my prayers.
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I know that feeling of the winning bid. So happy for you. I went to an estate sale yesterday that was a total waste of time.
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Lea,

Congrats on winning the bid. Yay!

I love a smoked turkey! Sounds delicious. My neighbor smokes his turkey for Thanksgiving. He makes incredible sides too. He and his wife are a great match, she isn’t fond of cooking but he loves to cook!

I do an old fashioned roasted turkey. Many people here do the deep fried turkey.

Oh gosh, why do so many people in the south deep fry their food? I never, ever fry anything! It may be delicious to many but I can’t bring myself to eat that unhealthy.

Food can still be delicious when it’s cooked in a healthy way. I have altered many recipes to become healthy.

People in the past were extremely active and burned off the calories. Many people gain weight when they become sedentary.
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I wound up winning a bid I placed on an online auction yesterday for a vintage 19 pc copper baking mold lot in assorted sizes.....for $11! I asked my DIL to pick it up for me bc she lives 5 min away from the house where it's at, and we're 40 min away. Plus I'm at a 9 today dizziness wise with this taper.....horrible. Back in bed by 1pm 😣 I pray I'm not at a 9 on Tues morning for the very looong IVIG treatment, ugh. Anyway, this is the first auction I've won since December and these copper molds are very cool so I'm looking forward to seeing them and having Chuck hang the best ones in the kitchen for display. Some are super tiny, and I have a great love for all things miniature.

Chuck is smoking a 12 lb turkey we were given at Thanksgiving and it should be ready soon. Smoking gives it a nice flavor but I find it doesn't make for good leftovers.....the smoke taste intensifies too much imo.

I hope everyone is having a relaxing Sunday 😁
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I wholeheartedly agree with you, Lea. We adopted our daughter from an agency in Texas.

Closed adoption is so unfair to the children and to the adoptive parents who don’t have any necessary medical health history records.

It is frustrating for our daughter when her doctors ask her about family history and she can’t answer them.

The adoption agency has a registry that allows birth parents and children to be matched but both parties have to register for the agency to make a match.

Our daughter registered when she turned 18, her biological mother and father haven’t registered. Maybe one day they will.

Or maybe her bio parents have married new partners and have other children now. They may not have told them that they had a child when they were younger.

I did mention to our daughter about alternative ways to find her biological parents and she said that she would respect their privacy. She said that she doesn’t want to force them to meet her if they aren’t willing to do so. She has done DNA testing so, something might pop up in the future unexpectedly.

I know that she has questions for them. It would be nice for her to have the answers.

There is some contact initially. It’s all done anonymously. For example, her bio mom wrote me a letter that was forwarded to me via the agency. I wrote a letter back and I sent photos of our daughter to her bio mom throughout my daughter’s life. I sent it to the agency and they forwarded it her.

I don’t understand the secrecy. Nor does our daughter. Medical history is important and the agencies aren’t as thorough as they should be. At least, back then they weren’t.

I served on our local auxiliary board for years. I did lots of outreach work. I saw a need for change in certain areas. I voiced my concerns on many occasions. I was extremely happy when open adoption became legal.
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Good evening, Lea. Praying for better days to come. You need a break. May you find comfort in His word.

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Psalm 119:105 

My father developed Type 2 diabetes, and later vascular dementia, both at least in part from from alcohol abuse. My oldest son has diabetes now from overeating and unwise eating. I decided years ago that if possible I would not get diabetes. I resemble my father's side of the family in some ways. So far so good. I've made it to 85 without it though I am definitely sensitive to carbs.

Lea - good for you, you have avoided or dealt with many things. The adoption secrecy is crazy.
Need - good for you too following your own healthier path.
Joann - you are right. No point in worrying about people who have the information and still make bad choices.
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Nhwm, the medieval laws applying to closed adoptions are ludicrous imo. Having no info about where we came from, medical background, health history, is beyond absurd and a basic human right we're stripped of. Makes us feel like we were dropped off on the stoop by the STORK fgs! 😑 Finding my bio family in 2000 at least answered some medical history questions I'd had for 43 years, including that my birth mother died of cancer (uterine spread to ovaries) at 57. Still to this day, adoption records are closed in N.Y. so I had to hire an ex cop to have someone steal my records from the adoption agency. Even if I needed a bone marrow transplant or a kidney, the records would STILL NOT BE OPENED.

Skyrizzi is a biologic used for moderate to severe Crohn's disease. Did DD ever look into it? I'm not recommending it......just mentioning it. 2 treatments at first, then 4x a year for maintenance.
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JoAnn, I’m sorry for the loss of your friends. Diabetes affects everything. It’s awful when people lose limbs to diabetes.

My brothers are always trying to get me to indulge in food like they do. I love food as much as anyone else but I am the opposite of my brothers. I watch what I eat because my dad had diabetes as well as my brothers.

I take after my mom with eating healthy. She lived to be 95 without getting diabetes.

My oldest daughter has diabetes. She has type 1 diabetes. She has lots of trouble balancing her blood sugar. Unfortunately, the adoption agency didn’t provide a thorough medical history to us.

Back then open adoption wasn’t legal. The only thing that we know is that her biological mother and father were college students.

I do get concerned about my daughter’s health. She also struggles with Crohn’s disease which is miserable for her. She is constantly watching what she eats.

I have had to accept that my brothers don’t monitor their diet as well as they should. I’m not going to waste my breath or stress out over it because it would be pointless.
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Oh, dear friend. I’ve marked down 4 weeks from today. May The Lord heal you completely by then.

Please, Lord, please!
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NHWM,

If your brothers could see what diabetes does to the body they would stop. Even those who have stuck to their diets (there is a little cheating) have problems as they age.

My GF was a juvenile diabetic who was diagnosed in 1958. She used strips to to test her urine and gave herself needles in her thighs. In her 50s she had a massive heart attack she almost died from. By 60, she had her leg removed from the knee down because of a sore that would not heal. Gangrene had set in. By 63 she was gone from kidney failure. Juvenile diabetes was not her fault, her pancreas just did not make insulin. My other friend became type II. This can be regulated better with weight loss and diet but it too can kill. This friend had never really taken care of his health. He too lost a leg. He too died of kidney failure at 70. Dying of kidney failure means the poisons build up in your system, they go to ur brain and you become confused and delirium sets in.

So, if ur brothers are very aware of the consequences of eating the way they do, I would not worry about it. Their lives and there choice to go out the way they want.
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Wishing you well, Lea. Dizziness is an awful feeling. I certainly hope it ends soon. You’ve been through a long tour of duty with this crap.
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Geaton, I know.....you are right about the Scopolamine patch, which is why I was comparing it to snake oil and magic elixir from the head shop 😶. Look at the list of side effects from Google:

disorientation.
dry mouth.
drowsiness.
dilated pupils.
dizziness.
sweating.
sore throat.

Dizziness. Yay. 😑


I just pray to God once I'm off the poison prednisone that something improves here.
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