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I’m sure you’ve all seen some of my posts on here. Unfortunately, things are changing for the worse. My grandfather will be coming home this weekend on hospice after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Doctors have decided that chemo will be more hurtful on his body than helpful. On top of all his other issues.


Anyone have experience caring for someone with pancreatic cancer/cancer?


I'm not even sure if I’m really looking for advice. Maybe I’m just looking to tell people who understand what I’m going to be dealing with. Idk.

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Both my FIL and husband's grandmother died from PC. FIL lasted 2 years after aggressive treatment that was awful. Grandmother went to the Mayo Clinic to have the Whipple surgery (in he 80s!) to no avail. Just make sure your Grandfather has his Advance Healthcare Directive filled out with the help of his oncologist. Work on his comfort and palliative care. May you all receive peace in your hearts.
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Pancreatic cancer's a bad one, because it'hard to diagnose until it's too late. He likely won't last too long.

I cared for my dad who went from liver cancer diagnosis to death in six weeks. The key is keeping the pain under control. My dad had no real pain, but some do. Hospice will give you morphine -- don't be afraid to give it to him.

It's exhausting work, even with two people, so get as much help as possible. If the hospice people aren't receptive to phone calls and questions, don't hesitate to get a new one. They'll coordinate the changeover with the company you fire. I had to do that with Dad first hospice providers (Vitas), so you might have to as well. You're supposed to be a team, and if they don't treat you like a team member, then find a company that will. If you call, they should answer the phone.
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My FIL and MIL died from pancreatic cancer. My FIL was very clear headed and lived about 2 1/2 years after diagnosis. He died in a hospice facility and the experience was wonderful. He was kept comfortable and out of pain. His death was very peaceful. In the case of my MIL, she had dementia and the cancer was not found until four weeks before her death. Hospice actually came and provided round the clock care for the last couple of days due to pain management.

In both cases, hospice was invaluable.
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My brother died of pancreatic cancer. He was at stage 4 (liver, stomach, lungs and pancreas) when it was found and 4 weeks later, had spread to lymph nodes also. They attempted chemo before they knew it spread to his lymph nodes, however, it made him more sick. A little less than 2 weeks after his first chemo treatment, his wife took him back to the hospital. He was pissed at her because he didn't believe that he was that sick to be hospitalized (he died a little less than 1.5 weeks later).

He was emphatic that he did not want to die at home. In the state that I live in, there are cultures that will not buy a house if they know that someone previously has died in it.

In the last days of his life in the hospital, they attempted dialysis, however, his blood pressure dropped too much for them to do a full session. His liver was slowly failing. By this time, he was too weak to get out of bed so he had a bedpan. Once we realized there was nothing more medical science could do, they tried different drugs to ease the discomfort (he said it wasn't painful, just uncomfortable) and tried to get him to accept comfort care, so that he could be given the stronger drugs. He did NOT want comfort care. At one point, they gave him morphine, however, he seemed to be running away from something as he was saying "go away" and "no no, don't do that to me" while he was on it. So I suggested to my SIL that they don't do morphine due to the scary hallucinations. He died within a week after the last try at dialysis. Actually, he was barely able to talk for the last 1.5 days, yet still refusing comfort care and consented to comfort care only the last 8 hours of his life.

On advice from my Aunt, she believed that people do have a little say upon when they really do pass. She suggested we give him updated status on everything going around him as it is happening regardless of whether he appeared to be sleeping or not, and ensure that we give him permission to die. The day he passed, I had told him that I officially completed filing some papers for him. Later that day, he accepted comfort care and that night, he passed.

For me, I'm glad he passed as quickly as he did. The amount of discomfort that he had, seemed unbearable to me. He described it as always feeling like you needed to go to the bathroom and the feeling of being too full, yet there was nothing to pass.

My mother is very hard of hearing and he was her favorite child (we already knew she had dementia at this point). I pulled out a PSAP that we used for a different reason, and had my brother talk into it while the ear plugs were in my mother's ears. He actually joked with her and my mother could hear what my brother said to her. My mother has taken his death very well. I don't know what he said to her, but whatever it was, it must have been very comforting to her.
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My oldest twin stepsons died of pancreatic cancer. One was 38 and the other at age 50. Both died very shortly after diagnosis. didn't see Michael except a few times. Both were hospitalized at the time of their death. I saw David daily for about 2 months. They received excellent care in the hospital. Neither was on Hospice. David's wife hired private duty nurses for him the last two weeks. Both of them had good pain control and died peacefully.
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Adding: grandma wants him home on hospice. They had a daughter that died from lung cancer and they took care of her at home with hospice and she wants to try with him. As I and their daughter will be the ones doing the care, we have agreed, unless it gets to a point where it is simply too much for us.
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AlvaDeer Jan 2023
You will get very little to no help from what Hospice has become in our country now. They will give a few baths and an RN who in my friends case came, took her temp and sat and talked for an hour once a week. A social worker who truly had no idea what she was doing. So I think you may need to opt for SNF with Hospice or placement with hospice. I agree, that this is 24/7 work and HARD working seeing one through to death.
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I'm sorry you're all going through such a traumatic experience, and pray that God gives you the strength and inner fortitude to endure it.
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I do. A friend who was with me the latter years of my nursing career as ancillary staff recently was diagnosed when spread had already occurred. She left the hospital as well, and died within a month, at home, on hospice. She was well medicated, and in all truth she was very at peace with her decision. She became uncomfortable in the last week, and the last two days were not good with some bleeding and vomiting, but she was kept as medicated as she could be. the experience with hospice wasn't good in that they are so not what they once were. They lay down the rules of yea many baths a week, a visit from the RN and a call from a poor social worker who had ZERO idea what she was doing, but hospices vary greatly and you may run into a very good one. Do demand what is covered by medicare and do give them any and all questions. I am so sorry. There is no way to predict how this will go for anyone, but the right steps are being taken. There is no reason for suffering now given that all are aware this is end of life treatment. I am so very sorry. I hope that the end is very peaceful for your granddad.
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