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Sending you hugs and prayers today.
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Lea,

Has there been any cases similar to yours that you can draw upon in gathering information about how this will run it’s course?

I suppose my question is completely dumb because we are all individuals who have individual reactions.

Your situation in dealing with your particular cancer scenario may be one for the textbooks! Everything is well documented these days, so doctors will learn from your experience.
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Yesterday afternoon around 4pm, the depression lifted and extreme dizziness set in......a more debilitating type of dizziness than usual. It hasn't let up. So I'm in a better frame of mind but a worse state of being physically. I may need to get the walker out again. 😣 I have no idea what's going on, only that going on steroids for all this time was a mistake. A big mistake. Of course I had no guidance bc there IS no guidance on this situation. Sigh. All I know is every single thing they've tried to help me here has NOT HELPED me but caused me more pain and suffering in the end. Except for the IVIGs which havent made a difference one way or another. I think, once the taper is finished, I'll be back to where I started with the dizziness and the rest of it bc they didn't change the core issue at hand. The toxic reaction is still active in my body along with the super loud ringing in my ears, etc. Ugh.

Saturday I'm down to 5 mg and then off, so we'll see but I have little hope for "feeling better" once off the steroids. More like going back to how I felt beforehand but fatter and much worse for the wear now. 🙄

Thanks for the kind words and keeping me in your thoughts, ladies. I appreciate it.
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Lea,

You have been through hell and back. I am not surprised that you are struggling with depression.

Some people panic in a crisis. Ah…that is what happens to me. I am not especially good in a crisis.

Others plow through a crisis and then fall apart afterwards. I have a friend who is that way. You strike me as coping well in a crisis.

My friend is incredibly strong during a crisis but as soon as it’s over, it’s like reality sets in and it hits her like a ton of bricks. Then she falls apart with a crying jag.

So, maybe you have been surviving all this time on autopilot to get through this horrific experience but it is only now that you realize what you have been through. Plus, you are so sick and tired of being sick and tired!

I so wish that all of this tapering crap was finished! When it is finally over everyone will breathe a sigh of relief for you. I’m sure that you know how much we care about you.

Take care, Lea. One fine day, this will only be a distant memory for you.
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Lea.......
My thoughts and prayers are for you.
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Lea, to be a bit depressed has got to be "normal". You've been through a heck of a lot these past few years! And this year has been beating on your body. Take a breath.
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Lea, so sorry you are having depression. I wish there was something original I could say that would help but sometimes I just can't find the words. But know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers.
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I guess a day Paxil is not doing its job today. I am on Cymbalta and I often wonder what it is doing but too afraid for worse days. I hope tomorrow is better. Always hoping for a day for you with better symptoms.
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funkygrandma just said it so well - I agree with your sentiments!

Lea, wishing you all better days ahead. Sending lots of love and prayers ~
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Oh Lealonnie, I hate that you're struggling so. You've been such an inspiration to us all through your journey thus far and I know that you'll continue to be when you're feeling more up to it.
But in the meantime, please take good care of yourself and know that there are many of us who continue to lift you up daily in prayer.
We are all trusting that this too shall pass, and that you'll be feeling more like yourself very soon. Hang in there.
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Just struggling with a lot of depression these days, probably in line with the steroid taper down to 10. And the fact that my future looks mighty grim, that too is a contributing factor.

Thanks for asking about me, ladies. I'm trying to hang in there.
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Hi LL, thinking of you! I've got the Monday Mehs. Hope your Monday dizziness or other symptoms are not worse.
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How about a Monday report? 😀
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Lea: Glad it is a little better for you.
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Geaton,
My Uncle Ronnie:same!
My Aunt: terlet, for sure! 🚽

LL,
Thank God for the mercy of a bit of improvement of the dizziness and headache!
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LL, “a bit better”… yay! Feels worthy of a “high one” (not quite high five territory…yet).

Also, is there an Italian-American who doesn’t have an “Uncle Joey”? He lied about his age in order to enlist in the Navy right after Pearl Harbor. Managed to live into his 90s despite a lifetime of smoking. He was a tough old bird. We called him the O.G. (original gangsta).
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Bm
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Lea,

So glad that you’re feeling a little bit of relief.

Hugs, prayers and love sent your way!
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My dad was from Greenpernt. His uncle always said "Trogs Neck"; I didn't know there was an H in there until I was a teenager.

Love you Lea. ((((Hugs))))).
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Thanks all. Today is a bit better in terms of headache/dizziness, thank God. Just taking it easy, as usual.

RD, I hate it when you go to an estate sale with your eye on something just to find it was JUST sold a minute earlier. Ugh. At least you picked up a few shells and did some other shopping.

Geaton, my uncle Joey still says toidy toid street.....lol.

Penny4, thank you for the prayers. GG, thanks for keeping up with the thread, it's a lot I know.

To everyone else, I appreciate the uplifting words.
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Praying 🙏
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Hi LL, Hoping for you to have a good day today.

Geaton, Whenever I need a laugh, I get out my My Cousin Vinny DVD. I’ve seen it countless times and it still makes me laugh. As a Bronx Italian I can relate big time.
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Good morning, LL! Thinking of "yous guys" (like some of my NYC and NJ goombah relatives literally used to say) ;-) "My Cousin Vinny" is one of my favorite movies, and also "Moonstruck", since those characters were basically all my family members (and "Saturday Night Fever" too). My Bronx-raised uncle (by marriage) used to say "Toidy Toid and Toid Street"... translation: "33rd and 3rd street"). Also: "terlet" = toilet.
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Good morning, Lea. I hope the night went well and you wake up with less dizziness today. I check in daily even if I don't write something. May there be blessings in this day for you.
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My prayers continue. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
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Lea: Prayers for you to feel better, dear lady.💗
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Praying for you here in Fl on Saturday night. Especially that this taper would give you a break for a change.

You are treasured here on this site!
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Bm
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Well Lea I will give you our estate sale expedition experience today. Since granddaughters are in town and they love shells we went to one that had pictures of tons of shells of all sorts. We got there and one person was buying all of them. We squeaked by with buying a few they let us get. Literally this buyer must have paid I estimate possibly $1,000.00 for the collection. It was a huge amount.

So afterwards we went to Athleta,J Crew and DSW for some back to school shopping. I truly look forward to the time you are better and able to get out but it can be frustrating. There was alot more in this house but none of it appealing. Some high end jewelry. A Miriam Haskell necklace for $100.00 but it wasn't that interesting. I didn't get anything for myself but we had a nice excursion of sorts.
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Good afternoon, Lea. I’m going to meet up with my daughters in just a bit at one of our favorite middle eastern restaurants.

Just wanted to say hello, thinking of you and of course, sending prayers for your awful dizziness to ease up.

Actually, to hell with easing up, you have done your tour of disturbing dizziness. I would like to see your dizziness completely disappear!

Although, I know that you would be grateful for any amount of relief. It’s been so long that you have been dealing with this crap.
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