Dad has been bouncing between hospital, rehab, hospital, nursing home for a month now. In all of about three days, I have been the one carting my non driving mom to see him (I do want to see him too, but would not necessarily go everyday. Plus, I would actually like to visit him alone as my mom drives me nuts). Even people who are her friends say they cannot take her for more than short doses, they wear out after that . So seeing my ALZ dad basically dying before my eyes is taking an emotional toll enough, but then neurotic mom compounding it tenfold. I said I need a day off tomorrow and she made me feel guilty. But to be fair to her, I make myself feel guilty too. I would like to be there every minute for my dad, but obviously cannot do that psychologically. And its just me. My mom doesn't drive so in order for her to go I need to go, another brother out of state, another brother with his own crazy family so he cannot help. If my dad is to have family there, it means I will be there. Although I do notice very few at the nursing home have family visit them much. Very sad. Tonight my dad said twice when can he go home When my mom and I left, he asked where we were going, and I said home. He asked if he can come too . It tore me apart. I was thinking, maybe hoping even that by this point he would not realize whether he was home or not, but apparently seems cognitive enough to know hes not, though I have read many say that. Yesterday, he began to pretty much refuse all food other than a supplement drink and I have read that when that happens, you are down to week, if that. Tears me apart but I simply cannot go see that everyday. Having said all that, what I will now say seems even crazier. If he is down to weeks, I would love to bring him back to his house and somehow allow him to live his last days at home. I am sure many say that but the truth is one just cannot do it. I would be willing to move in there for a short while. We could hire some outside help, but I think my mom will flat out refuse. And while I do have many issues with her, it would be hard to blame her for not wanting to do it as she would bear the burden more than anyone. But would so much love to see my dad in his own bed living in the walls he has called home for 60 years. Maybe naïve am I. And if I cannot handle going to nursing home every day, how could I handle caregiving at his home full time? Though there one wouldn't have the other stresses like getting nurses to help, seeing other sad people, etc.