My husband and I have been POA for both my parents since 2012, my mom died peacefully at home 2014 but not without a lot of drama and high intensity trouble from my siblings, we went right into caring for my dad who had vascular dementia and not only have I had ZERO help or even emotional support from my 3 siblings (all live with 45 min drive) they have used social media and gossip to imply we have isolated my father or kept them out, when in reality we have exhausted our family time, emotions and finances caring for him and MADE A POINT of keeping the doors and property ALWAYS OPEN for their visits, even paying his cell phone and upgrades since 2009 and getting him hearing aides (which he refuses to wear) and setting up social media accounts for him (which they ruined by sniping). He has finally gone onto hospice and too far gone to benefit from a visit, but I will bear the brunt of criticism as soon as they are informed of his death. My husband actually fears they may trying breaking into my dad's home or even burning our home or vandalizing our property (yes, they really are that bad) so he is on high alert. It's awful & seems like it will never end, we will never have our lives back. I have a six year old (I'm an older mom) and we have never spent a night of vacation with him anywhere.
In truth, my siblings - 2 haven't spoken to my dad in years and rarely answer his frequent letters, one visits briefly and infrequently - are the ones who tried to isolate dad and punish me apparently for being mentally capable and setting some boundaries as well as trying to achieve some normalcy for my parents at the end of their lives. And guess what! No drama or trouble now as my dad peacefully passes away on hospice; none of them have ever called me or my husband to check on him, they don't even know he is now dying at 89. They have had every opportunity to be involved. I'm exhausted, sad my husband signed up for the gig without realizing how much it would drain us (he's been a better son to my parents than the two they had) and BEYOND burned out, but I'd rather be me than my miserable siblings.