I am taking care of my mother who has extreme chronic pain from bone on bone shoulder arthritis...nothing is helping and i find myself constantly obsessing about relieving her pain while I'm there...periodically asking her 'do you need some icy hot? I think I'm enmeshed with her and need to identify my boundaries. I live on my own and she has other PCAs who come in. Over Christmas, I stayed with her for 4 days and became a *itch and even became verbally abusive and had angry outbursts around her. I know this is evidence that I was there too long. I feel for those of you who live with a loved one!!