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If you don't want to stay more than 10 minutes, that's fine. You have given her more than enough. You are a good person.
The demands on yur are too great in my view and that can cause anxiety. You have had a lot of hurt. I am so glad that you were brought up in a loving family, If you were hit by a bus tomorrow your mum would be looked after. I suspect that she does not need gas money for transportation either. I think you need a breather to let your mind and body relax a bit. Since you are a naturopathic dr you should have some knowledge to help you with that. Take a deep breath, set priorities and boundaries, stick to them. Enjoy your nearest and dearest and let the rest of the world go by
I am not clear when you say
You are doing enough. Stop, look at what you can do and it is much more than many!
Lucille Ball once said that it is more important to understand what you can't do than what you can.
Establish and hold to your boundaries. Take care of yourself, if you are overwhelmed and stressed your health is in jeopardy then you will not be able to help anyone.
When i was 23 i decided it was time to meet our bio mom so we met a few times over the years. No real relationship bonding and that was ok. I knew more about family medical history and such. Well- I divorced and bought a house for myself and my two children. ....One year later- i get a call from bio mom- she needed help and her partner was having hip trouble . Bio moms meds were all messed up and she had no one to turn to. Sis wouldnt help them because she had been burnt before by them but I could not turn my heart off and I felt God wanted me to help. so I sold my house and moved 700 miles away with my kids to help them. Needless to say- after 6 months and regular meds and cooking and cleaning their home and working and schooling my kids- they no longer needed my help and tossed me out with no where to go.. I called sis. she allowed me to move in to get on my feet again but the house burned down and I was on my own again. So finally i get a good job and get settled in and i get a call from home.. this time its the mom who adopted -loved adn raised me as her own. she was dying. I sold all i could and moved home. I married and have been settled for 8 years when-yet another phone call from bio mom.. she is homeless, her partner died and she has no money for food or meds or anything.. My partner and I mail ehr food and money and she blows it on cigarettes, doesnt get meds and is in a mess. The facility that monitors her schizophrenia meds cant help her without me sending gas money to get her to appoinments and now she is thrown out of her apartment for non payment.. so- im told im totally gullable but i cant leave ehr on the streets- its just wrong.. so....we move her in.. Now my sis has disowned me for taking her mom away so far ( even though she would not help her). She bought her a meal and then left back out of state. gee thanks. so bio mom lived with us a year and i found the most wonderful assisted living- skilled nrusing facility where she goes to plays and has cook outs with staff- It is the best place. I am her durable poa and i had all her burial things transferred out here.. It ahs been a long road. I did not mention that my partner is a disabled veteran and we have a learnign challenged son at home as well as taking care of my partners step dad on dialysis 3 days a week.. Sooo my issue is- why do i feel guilty and get anxiety about going to visit her? I avoid it because it makes me sick to my stomach and I ahve too much to handle with that kind of mindset.. I knwo i did right for her- but i lost my sister, my mom, my dad a few years ago, my partners disabled adn everyone i love NEEDS something.. I do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, yardwork, repairs.. why do i feel so anxios and how do i stop it.. any advice would be appreciated.. thanks for letting me get the whole story told. Ive never had a chance to tell it.
Sometimes it is an eye-opener to hear the reactions of someone from a "normal" family. All of us accept treatment that others would reject in a minute. I personally need to feel deeply understood before I can trust the advice of others.
tell us more, and we will try to help.
There is always a tie to parents, even if their treatment of you as a child could have been much better. Dysfunctional families are usually ones with tragedy when children were young. Some of us grow through them, others flourish and become very caring and compassionate people, to say nothing of stubborn and a strong sense of what should be done.
I care ... because of my conscience. I care.. because I know what God requires of me. I care... because I'm not my parents. And I'm doing my best not to be bitter against my siblings - which is very very difficult nowadays. I'm a "sucker."
You will find that there's a lot of us here who have not had a very nice childhood... and still stepped up to do what the "favorites" refuse to do. So, peacemaker, how can we help you?