Hubby had a major heart attack on Sunday. Has not felt well for MONTHS, but wouldn't address this with his doc--just said he was overwhelmed by work and super stressed out by life. He's a liver transplant patient, 12 years out. Beat HepC, a stroke, 84 weeks of chemotherapy, a motorcycle wreck that nearly killed him and several falls while rock climbing. So--a car with 9 lives. Race to the ER where they dx the heart attack and turf him to a hospital with a cath lab--he has 3 stents placed in the "widow maker" arteries...and this doc basically saved his life. Hospital for 2-1/2 days, they let him come home today, and he is being a royal butthead. I know his "sick man" routine and its awful, just awful. He is now back on the diabetic diet he should have stayed on post transplant--he's angry and depressed. I am the sole caregiver and although he'd been home less than 12 hours, he's already made me cry 3 times. I just put my foot down. He did not hear much of what the Drs said to him, so his "education" on how to care for himself is pretty much what I have been reading and doing. I can cook the diabetic diet, I have been pretty much for years. I can't control his eating, his sugar cravings, the lack of exercise or really, much of anything. I told him I will stock the cabinets and fridge with good food choices and he needs to learn how to count carbs (doesn't believe in them) and he HAS to get out of bed and start living. Probably his severe fatigue has been due to the failing heart. I'm not putting up with his poor pitiful me routine---my gosh--I've heard from 20 neighbors and friends so far who are praying for him and asking what they can do to help.... he is SO blessed and SO loved. My kids are great--but only 2 of them live close. They can only be supportive and loving--this man is smart and witty and brilliant--but he is also depressed, angry and panicky. Has to find a "reason" or "person" to blamed for everything goes south. He actually told the dr he was 70 lbs overweight b/c I am "too good" of a cook. Dr. didn't buy into that. I don't need recipes for better menus--I can do that in my sleep. I just need to vent as I have run the gamut of emotions the last 3 days from terror to relief to anger. I'm exhausted, physically and mentally. And it is going to get MUCH worse before it's better. Just some kind supportive words, please. If you feel I'm a witch, which I am , keep it to yourself. This too shall pass---wow, life with this man has been eventful and scary.