I agree a transition to a facility might be warranted but they have refused to give anyone POA from the beginning. They have always been self serving and resistant to considering needs or feelings of others. They want to live with my brother who wants them there. I have endured this situation for 7 yrs. it was difficult but easily avoidable until the past 2 yrs.
I can’t force my dad to accept my partner and I can’t stop his verbal abuse towards us with calm discussion.
My parents have been conniving to run my partner off since he moved in. They think he should be obeying their whims and cow-towing to them. He’s 62yo and very helpful around the house. He pays half my bills and has dragged them around plenty but there is no gratefulness available from them.
He just minds his own business. Now he tries to stay to himself completely when around them to avoid antagonizing my Dad.
It’s a very stressful situation.
I feel if not for the continual animosity coming from my dad it would be bearable but he now is insulting to me as well as bf. And today when I said good morning he just said “no talk!!!!”
So now I am resigned to just ignoring him. I talk to my mother who is usually approachable but it is still hurtful to have my dad my fishing and hunting buddy and conciliary push me away.
I think my brother should have stepped up several years ago but he was not yet in a position to do so. He is ready and willing. He is 62yo and I am sure he is aware of the pitfalls that can arise.

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Hand your folks over to your brother and live your life!

In time, the bad feelings you have now will dissipate and you will be able to look back on time with dad as being positive and good.

Your problem is easily solved: call brother and say "come get them". Then step waaaaaay back from any CG.

We tend to let our parents gets pretty nasty with us before we realize that what's going on is actually abuse. You don't need and you have an out. TAKE IT!

You have the ideal situation right before your eyes. You say they want to live with your brother, and your brother wants them to live with him. Great. Wave goodbye. Get another fishing buddy. You can now give up control. 7 years is plenty. Stay out of it, and go on and have a happy life with your kind and patient partner. There's no reason on earth to put up with this bad behavior from your parents for another day.

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