Should I take my mother to a close family friend's funeral? My mother has moderate Alzheimer's.

Please don't. You go and represent the family, but it will just upset your mother terribly.

There are numerous friends and relatives who have died since my mother's dementia started, and I haven't told them about any of them. I love hearing her talk about many of those people in the present tense, and I'd never do anything to take that away from her.

If she found the last funeral challenging I would not take her to this one.

If that means you could not go, check if they are live streaming it. When my step mil passed away, due to Covid restrictions, the family was given a link to allow us to watch it live online. Only 6 family members attended in person.

I think you should not take her. In fact it might make you feel more comfortable if you can recall that SHE was uncomfortable at the last funeral she attended.

You have absolutely no reason to be “torn”. You are making a decision for your mother that will give her peace and comfort.

Taking her might well make her feel agitated and uncomfortable. Be at peace with your decision.

Yes,

Churches are streaming online now, funerals and all.

My friend just lost her husband to Covid. The funeral followed protocols regulated by our state and they also provided a live streaming for those who couldn’t attend.

In your mom’s case, I don’t feel like she should attend since she was upset by the last funeral. Most importantly, why risk COVID? We are living in different times. It’s very sad.

Sorry for your loss.

Your sister is right. Don't bring her. What will end up happening is she'll make some kind of unpleasant scene which of course won't be her fault because of the Alzheimer's. Still the people who will be at that funeral mourning the friend you had for over 57 years, should not have to deal with that. Leave mom at home.

For several reasons I would say no, she should not go. I’m sure no one would expect a senior to be at a funeral with Covid running rampant.
I question your going if you are around your mother on a regular basis.
My husband lost his nephew, 54, from a heart attack back in October. We went to the funeral home the night before the funeral and sat with his mother, my husbands sister. There was just the three of us there and we wore masks etc.
The next day we attempted to go to the family visitation held before the funeral. So many people came in without mask that we had to leave. They had the service online for those who couldn’t attend.
In the past when my DH aunt, 94 and with dementia, has lost nephews, I have taken her up to the funeral home before the funeral or to the family dinner. This was before Covid. The last trip I found she was very uncomfortable and I do not mention death of relatives to her any longer. She really doesn’t remember them.
I have to side with your sister on this one.
I am sorry for the loss of your family friend. So many are dying now. It is very difficult.

Because of Covid, No. If she would ask, inform her that it's for health reasons that she not go.
Often today, funerals are live streamed and recorded.
If that's the case, you may play a small portion for her .
"Here's his neice, ___, singing his favorite song/hymm, etc.
My Mom, 92, stopped going to funerals 7 years ago. It's just too much for her. She didn't go to her brother or sisters funerals.

After my mother had her stroke, and currently with my husband, I didn't / don't tell them when someone has passed away. If he asks about someone who has passed, I remind him of some happy or crazy event that he shared with that person and it seems to appease him. He is still at the point where he knows there is something wrong with himself and it upsets him. I see no reason to do anything else to make him upset. I agree with the other posters and you go represent the family. The family of the departed will certainly understand your situation. Hugs of comfort to you.

I took my husband (frontotemporal disorder, mild cognitive impairment) to his brother's funeral just before the covid restrictions. He is glad he went and I am glad we went, but his behavior there caused people to realize that something is wrong with him. (No one had been told anything except for his brother, the one that died. Apparently he never even told his wife.) Do you really want to draw unwanted attention at a funeral home or service?

I think you should just tell your mom that because of covid, she'll have to watch the service online or wait until a memorial service is held at a later date (which is what most families are doing in my area).

No. You both may have known him over 57 years, but your mother’s mind doesn’t have that frame of reference anymore. She may even forget that she was at the funeral at all.