I was wondering if anyone has had to deal with a controlling parent and with guilt trips from their parents?

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I want to thank everyone for your support I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have this site. Has anyone had to deal with a controlling parent. My mom has controlled my life since I was a child until I left for college and met my husband and I moved away. She took me to weight watchers when I was 10 years old and I just had baby fat I started my life long struggle with anorexia and to this day we don’t talk about it. I finally got treatment in 2013 but I have had to return 4 times. I have dealt with it for 39 years she has always been able to passive aggressive get what she wants and I am discovering how she has controlled my brother life and my daddy’s. My brother stayed on the farm and has dealt with her and her lies for years and I think she is the one that has effected our relationship she never wanted us to talk because we would know all about her lies I am seeing what my brother has gone through and if I ever talk to my brother she is like what did he say and everything is a secret my brother told me about how she was in so much credit card debt that she had to put a lien on the farm 25,000 in the mid 90s she always told me she never had credit cards. Well I believed her but going through her paperwork I found a credit report and she had 10 credit cards and the lowest amount she had on them was 800 but that’s her business. I am finding two life insurances that she took 6,000 each from she has never made a payment on she doesn’t remember doing that. We are so afraid of what is out there when she passes the family farm is worth a lot of money and has been in the family for 200 years and my brother wants it to stay with the family. I am not as attached as he is and I may not even move down here but I will never sell it to anyone else. Ok sorry my question is has anyone else had to deal with guilt trips from their parents. I live an hour and a half away and last Thursday my mom was moved to the hospital from the nursing home. She has been totally out of it since we got back from the Bahamas. Well she was dehydrated and had an infection. I moved her back yesterday and I cannot believe she agreed to go back but we were talking and she said that the first time I moved her she said it was the worst day of her life. I just dropped her off and abandoned her as you can see from my other posts I have a lot of health issues myself. I said I am sorry you felt like that but I was here and then you told me to go back to the house. I said that I was here from Sunday afternoon until Saturday and I was barely standing she was getting a refinancing the farm to get some money to pay my brother for work he had done and money to take care of her bathroom and I was running around trying to get all the paperwork. The day before I moved her I was at the funeral home for death certificates and then the lawyer for a will and then I met with the banker and found out he needed my grandpa's will. Well my brother comes down that night and is saying my grandpa was leaving him this and that and she made she was hiding the will and then he goes home and he calls me here his wife had the will anyway this had nothing to do with me but my brother needed me in order for him to get his money. Up to two months ago he had my phone number blocked but now he needs me so If I hadn’t done this for both of them they wouldn’t have gotten their Money. no thank you though back to my question she really hurt me. I told her that I stayed until Saturday and was there with her and now I came down Thursday and I am staying until Friday but I told her that I will stay this week but I have to be home the following week for my appointments. She said that her foot will be better then I said that doesn’t make a difference she said that I wouldn’t worry as much. I told her that I don’t worry when she is there I know she is being taken care of and I think she is mad because I have said that I didn’t worry about anything when I was in the Bahamas it was time for someone else to take care of things it’s like she expects me to just sit and worry about her. I am in AA and I have learned that I am not in charge and it’s in God’s hands and what does worrying get you. She doesn’t like this at all she is still trying to control my life

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That’s what my brother has been saying for years but not handling money isn’t a mental issue but i know she does struggle with low self esteem my dad wasn’t always around he played in a band and he was gone every Saturday night and when my mom did go she was humiliated he completely ignored her and would go talk to other women and he would put her down in front of his friends and he wouldn’t come home to 3 or 4 in the morning he just lived his own life but it was their relationship i feel bad because i would defend him when i got older because i wanted him in my life i remember at my 8 th grade graduation we were taking a family picture and he didn’t want to be a part of it so she threw all her attention into my brother and my life and then losing my brother destroyed her and back then you didn’t go to a therapist she said that her family doctor helped her then there is all the shopping she does she thinks that in order for someone to love her she needs to buy their love it’s interesting you ask about dementia my brother and my niece went to see her last night and they said they think she is starting with dementia but when she talks to her friends she is fine but ever since her surgery she has been out of it until they took her to the hospital Thursday she was dehydrated and her kidneys weren’t working right and she has an infection there she was sharp as a nail but now that she’s back at rehabilitation nursing home she is starting to sound like it again I just moved her on Saturday I want to believe her but she has played games before to get attention in fact one of her grandchildren hasn’t spoken to her in over a year she said she was going to tell my brother she was sick and have him tell her granddaughter she isn’t going to be here much longer that’s mental illness
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Penny, has your mother been diagnosed with mental health issues, or with dementia?
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