He gets angry and wants to go home, even though we have lived in same home for 15 years. He appears outgoing and if you were not around him long it might not be evident.

I know I am not alone, but I am exhausted and confused. Family is supportive in any decision that needs to be made.

At this point I need suggestions.

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when he says he wants to go home, he’s probably talking about his childhood home.

You need to do what you need to do even if the family isn’t supportive. It is all too easy for those who don’t have to deal with this on a daily basis to throw in their 2cents and insist that he is fine. All you can do is try your best to explain the situation and encourage them to come around more so that they will get a taste of your daily life.

Hi Kiki, this sounds familiar! And, yes! It does get frustrating. Your post doesn’t have a direct question, which is why I think it ended up as a discussion rather than a question on the forum. But, I think you’re asking how to better deal with this, so here are some ideas:

- Realize he still loves you. It’s not him consciously wanting to leave or trying to frustrate you, but it’s the disease that’s causing this impairment.

-What time of day does it usually happen? Does it get worse if the day has been busy? Pay attention to the trends, and then you can be better mentally prepared.

-Anti-anxiety medication can help, like the class of benzodiazepines. Talk with his doctor.

- Spend quality time together during his best times of the day.

- Look into getting assistance around the house during his worst times. If this is at night (sundowner’s syndrome), have a family member there or hire an aide to take the pressure off you. While they fuss, go read a favorite book or take a bath.

- Plan for the future. It’s not easy to talk about things like this, but there’s real benefit in knowing what his wishes are and what options are available. (Assisted Living, Memory Care facilitates, Stay at home benefits, POA, etc). Your Office of Aging can help. Also, an elder care attorney knows the legal aspects and can help tremendously.

Good luck on this bumpy journey!

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