I will make this brief (ha ha), I will try.
I called my sister (back up, my sisters do not have much of a relationship with me, as when my middle sister lost her husband, he was 61, she was 61, she stopped talking to me. No reason, no nothing, but that was consistent with the fact she stopped talking to many people.
My son went to Jordon, Peace Corps (that should be the key words), when he cam back at age 28, he got out of our car, as we picked him up, and he called me everyday for two years in the peace corps. Never has he called me again, for those that follow this post, there was dialogue, because he decided to tell me he was having a baby, and wanted "HIS" things from when he was a baby.
All of you whom said, he should come and get them, you are probably right, but I did pack them up nicely and washed them (either a nice mom or a very stupid enabling mom), but I would prefer to think of myself as a woman that has always done th very best with what I have and care deeply for my two sons, and will always love them. 32 and 26. The 26 year old and I have a great relationship.
My father's birthday was yesterday. I have not been invaded to anything since about three years ago, as my oldest 65 year old sisters came to my house, with her daughter, and said, "there is no room for you here", and they mailed my Christmas Stocking, many of you told mer to take a deep look into everything, go to a counselor, and I have done more than you know, but never lost sight of the woman that I am, and continued my role in the community as caregiver, to the Elderly and Household Managements.
From Sept. 2014 to April 15, 2015 (yes two weeks ago), I had acquired a superbug from a hospital, and have been hospitalized for about 20 of those days "Caregiver Burnout", and feel much much better.
Yesterday, I called the one sister that will talk to me. The other will not, under any circumstance, & my father has become too ill to resign or redo his will to state that the Executor will have an Attorney when representing me because my sister has made no attempts per my father's written request to provide no history of the financial situations which are very (?????) & my dad says to her face in front of me, (please give her the accounting detail), he is almost mute so it is very hard to communicate with him. I have typed up some cards so that he can look at them, & we go from there.
YESterDAY, I called my sister, & she got very nervous & started acting really odd, I said, I was wondering if I could come see father (as I know he lives at her house), she became weird & said things that were non sensical. I figured it out very fast. All 12 family members were at my mothers Assisted Living having a birthday party except me & my husband.
I am hurt, yes, but I am really not in shock, & I just hurt for the baby girl or maybe that is selfish, I would like to meet my grandchild. The one I send gifts to (first time shame on you, second time shame on me), that were returned, & they were the sweetest newborn gifts.
I have I feel taken this kind of "stuff, abuse, crap" from my family since my son got home from the peace corps. how can he have so much power over 12 people. Well my father was with me, & I stayed, never saw any of them because the town organizer of the situation (my sister) middle one, made sure they left before I came. My feeling is this. My mother was a raging alcoholic when we were young. I was the one that found a interventionist for my father, he was angry, but his comments were "just go get it done", I was 23 back then, my other sisters, had & wanted nothing to do with it. NOTHING. Now, they are involved because of my father. I wouldn't put a bet on anything that either of them have ever washed a load of my mother's laundry or changed her, EVER.
I am a daughter, not hero, I am grandmother, that someday would like to see my granddaughter (hopefully before she is 20, is what I predict), that obviously is very hurt because at my age 50, my son takes a right turn in life, gets married, his father (he and I are divorced), are not invited, blah tee blah, & you all said six month's ago, let it go.
I feel for the most part 75 80% I am ok, not good, ok with moving through my daily life, I am about to acquire a job assisting a young infant in the mornings. I feel I am doing this, number one because I love children, and number two because it allows me to be a very good woman to an infant which will allow me to be a part of a family, that has known me for so long. Advice for online support, or books.
This is getting easier, i see how incredibly enabling they are to my son. He is doing exactly what his father did to his parents.
MORE . . . .