I am so overwhelmed.
My name is Donna. My husband and I are the caregivers to my Mom. Since the middle of November 2016 till present Mom has been in three nursing facilities for rehab. Mom is currently in one now for about 3 weeks. This upside down world started when she fell while alone. Thankfully she was able to reach me by phone. We stayed on the phone with 911While my husband dashed over to check on Mom. He met up with the paramedics. She was rushed to the E.R. where they found that Mom was septic and had a very rare form of sepsis in her spine. They say it was from a UTI Infection. She was delirious for several weeks. About this time she was about to lose her home as all SS has to go to her health in the nursing facility. My husband and I sold our place and moved in to help care for her. Once she was home again I felt like It was a nightmare!
Her moods were volatile. One minute she'd be the sweetest thing and the next moment a raving/ranting person I did not know! She would cuss my husband and me out with the foulest words and some days it lasted for several hours. Anything would spark her horrible mood..like if she thought her food was cold, or we didn't have the right outfit washed for her etc.. Things became so bad that we moved out. The emotional stress on us and our marriage was too much. After we left she started to decline quite fast! She would forget if she took her meds, so she took them again! She stopped eating, became very confused. Mom forgot how to use her stove, her microwave, and her memory was declining fast. It truly scared me! So my husband and I decided to move back in with her. Again we walked right into the battlefield of being talked to hateful, cussed out, bitterness in her voice and her face even looked different-evil. It hurts me to say that. Mom kept declining and we didn't know what to do. The last part of May she was rushed to the E.R. she had thrush with sores in her mouth and down her throat, she had pneumonia and a severe UTI. The scary part is she nor us knew she was sick! How does that happen? There were no signs, no complaining until she told us her throat was sore. This confuses me. How did she not know that she was sick or in pain? Mom stayed in the hospital for a week. They got her stable and sent her to the now third nursing facility. They found that the flap in her throat that makes the food go down as you eat had stopped working. She can now only eat and drink things with a thickening agent so that she does not aspirate. Her care now is more than I can help her with. And not knowing she was so sick scared me to pieces! What if it happens again? So now my husband and In are talking about Assisted Living for Memory care. All she ever wanted was to stay in her own home and have us take care of her. But as time passed the helping her made way to us feeling like her servants :( . Mean and mad if you didn't drop what you were doing and do her bidding. But I am reluctant to make a decision on putting her somewhere. It makes me feel guilty, sad and pressured to do what is right for her. We wanted so much to take care of her. I know now it's more care than we can give her. So we will have to make a decision soon. If anyone has gone through this I would appreciate any advice. I don't want to feel like I am a bad daughter and she think that I am abandoning her :( .