My Mom (84) only wants to talk about is herself. If I talk about something, all she says is "hmmm." It's very disheartening.
I call her every night to check on her. Every night she just wants to talk about how she can't get around like she used to. I understand that's hard on her considering she used to be an active woman. But if I tell her about something in my life all she says is 'yeah' or 'hmmm,' and then changes the conversation back to her. My brother lives only 15 minutes away but doesn't do much to help. I constantly tell her if she needs anything done at the house or if she needs to go anywhere to please let me know. I am unemployed right now, so I have plenty of spare time. But most of the time she will call one of her neighbors to take her to the doctor, to the store, or to pick up a prescription. I gave her a speech one night about that and told her that's what I am here for, to please ask me. But she will turn around and ask one of her neighbors again. It's like she can't bring herself to ask her own children. Her neighbors probably think she has terrible children because they are always the ones to take her places. I've heard that some elderly people don't like to ask the children for help because they feel that they have always been the main figure in the family, and if they ask for help it makes them look weak. Just an hour ago I talked to her on the phone and she told me that she had an appointment tomorrow with the hearing aid doctor. She said that she had cancelled it because it wasn't that important. I know why she did that. She didn't want to ask. Yesterday I took her to Walmart, she actually asked me that time. She probably felt it would be a bother to me to take her out again. It would not have been a bother, but she just won't ask. And while I was on the phone she just kept saying 'yeah' if I tried talking about anything. When I got off the phone with her, I was so upset that I threw the phone across the room. I wish she could understand what she is doing, because I feel like she is driving me away.