What do I do when I'm so depressed about caring for my mom but feel so guilty feeling this way?

Follow
Share

My mom moved in with me just over a year ago. I got married 2 months after she moved in. We have 5 children between the two of us, I work two jobs because my 2 are in college. I work all day come home as soon as I open the door my mom is standing right there waiting for me. I have to cook dinner, do laundry, use the bathroom, etc. or I'm trying to get ready for my next job and she is following me around or getting annoyed I don't sit down with her. I have one full day off a week that I do not get to spent with my husband because my mom takes all my attention. I have 2 brothers and a sister that live close they only call or stop by when its convenient for them which is maybe once a month. Anytime I need to do something I have to call them like I'm looking for a babysitter for my mom. I feel bad for my mother, my husband and our kids. I'm so angry with my siblings. I am usually pretty positive and upbeat but I'm so down right now I can hardly stand myself.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
3

Answers

Show:
Look for adult social day cares in your area too. If she was busy all day then she may be tired when she got home instead of ready for social interaction with you! See if a bus can transport her so you don't have to have one more thing on your plate. Keep us posted!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If there were a caregiver manual-what you are going through should be caregiving 101. I am sooo sorry-it just seems to be that way-but, if you can get help-someone to hang out with her or take her out maybe she won't be so reliant on you-waiting at the door. We have a service here called Seniors Helping Seniors that will come in and visit (for a fee) so you can have some time to yourself. They won't help with meds and not really with bathrooming so if she can do that on her own these people would be great. Maybe they could play cards with her or watch a movie or just sit and chit chat. You have a lot on your plate with the marriage and kids too. Never any time to yourself. You are going to burn out if you don't get some help. Look online or ask at your church for services in your area. It is too much to ask that you be her entertainment, caregiver, a wife and mom with two jobs outside the home. Get help! Or look into assisted living facilities. I completely understand the guilty feelings. I have them too. We all want and deserve time to ourselves and we must take care of ourselves first. Otherwise we will be no good to any of the people in our lives. Good luck!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

You should definitely have your mother help you out with chores. I know that it may sound cruel, but it actually helps them to keep busy and help out as well. Have her help you folding the laundry - even if it just folding simple things like towels and sorting socks. You can also have her help wash some dishes. You can have a warm soapy bucket and give her some silverware. you could spend time with her while doing the chores. Also have your children help you...I worked my way through college, so the least that they can do is to start a load of laundry before heading out to school or sit with their grandma for 10 or 15 minutes when they come home from a class. It is totally understandable to feel depressed or simply worn out from being a caregiver. You should not feel guilty for feeling tired. We live with my husband's grandpa and it has been very long and tiring and we are just now beginning to get help for him after doing it completely by ourselves for over two years. You can't do it all...make sure that they help you.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions