Just need to vent.

Started by

My mom i love her so much.she was such. A great mom and did so much for me and our family. So i am the baby and i am the caregiver. She is 81 and lives. With me. The other nite i took her to the store she said on the way home she thought she was going to throw up. Got her home in bed put trash can by her bed. Then she was freezing. So i put two blankets. Over her.and put. Heating pad on her to. Help warm her up she fell aslep .wke up feeling ok. So the next morning i got up and i thought it was chilly so knew she must be cold. Still. Asleep. So turned on heat. When she wakes up she comes in kitchen and said iver 5 times im hot. I daid under my breath if you. Say that one more time im going to scream. Ii have plans to go see my thearpist. On tuesday,my day off. And had plans to see a movie with a friend. She just asked me if i had plans on tues. I said yes and asked why. She wantsto go to the store. I will not let her drve.i just dont think she should drive. So i told her i would take her after ido my things. I have older brother ans sister. My sis lives far away about 3 hrs andworks. Full time and my brother lives close but works nights. I need emotional as well as other help from them. I will send them a txt about an episoide. And they. Dont answer. Back. Im to the point. Where im going to write them both a ketter. I suffer from aniexty. And depression. Im doing really good, but i can get overwhelmed. And have a panic attack. Im doing my best.but its hard. My mom will not go to a daycare type olace. She isn't that bad. I cant get her to join a book club but yet she complains about being stuck in house. I just need to find a balance any suggestions. Eould be appreciated

4 Comments

Sorry used phone and could not see typos
Hi, Lori. Could you tell us a little about your mother. She sounds older than most 81-year old women I've known. I figure that she is in poor health. She sounds much like my mother in often being uncomfortable -- ill, too cold, too hot. We do the best we can do. Life can be so full doing the little things for them that it can feel overwhelming after a while. I know how you feel. I have three days devoted to my taking my mother somewhere this week. She mentioned she wanted to get a haircut this week and I just had to say no, that we'd wait a few days. It upset her, but I have to preserve a little time for my work and myself. It is hard to live life for two people.
seven months after my mothers death im just now seeing how much of myself id lost. no regrets for the 6 yrs at my mothers house but the depression i didnt even know i had is lifting more every day. i have dreams and a renewed energy to make em happen.
and lori,
if your mother never had much of a social life and no interests or hobbies, it sure isnt your fault because she still doesnt. my mom wasnt interested in daycare type socializing either. that shouldnt make me the entertainment commitee..
Thanks actually she is in pretty good health. I just have to find the right balance. Tonight. Im going over to a friends to hang out for. A while. After work. Thanks so much

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support