I figured out a good solution to my problems with my grandmother-in-law.

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As some of you may know, my gmil is suffering from undiagnosed dementia. Her doctor wont listen to us because gmil is really good at lying. she has healed from her broken ribs, but now has another uti. the 3rd one in 4 months. her occupational therapist helped her bathe twice, and gmil lied to her and said she was bathing regularly. Shes not, she doesnt even wash her hands. she has a colostomy bag, and she doesnt even use gloves anymore to change and clean it. thats why shes getting utis. so no professionals are listening to my husband and i, even though we keep telling them about the problems. So, we decided that we are buying spy cameras. im going to get a pen camera that i can keep on me, with audio included. then, when she has her spells, we will be able to prove what is going on. Last night, she completely forgot who my 2 year old was.i mean, she gets family members mixed up, has a hard time remembering their names, even her children, but she had never jyst completely forgot someone. expessially my daughter. we live with her, and she was talking to her just five minutes before that, so that was a major red flag in my opinion. Just in case anyone else is in a similar situation, with parents lying to their doctors, a spy camera is a good solution. I hate to have to be invasive, but she needs help, and thats the only thing i can do. So things should be getting better once i get the cameras.


Good idea moonflower, or even using your phone to video her when she is acting strange. If a picture is worth a thousand words, think how much more valuable a video would be!
This is a situation which I think may justify the privacy concerns. Since she is good at fooling the doctors and precludes getting help, she's left you stymied as to help to really help and support her. I think the incident of forgetting who your daughter was is a good one to demonstrate the memory issues.

Good luck with this.
Why does it make a difference in her care if she's formally diagnosed with dementia? I'm not understanding what difference this would make. You're living with her...you're taking care of her...YOU know she has dementia. Why is a formal diagnosis so important that you're putting in spy cameras, for heaven's sake?

Not like there's a cure for it.
A formal diagnosis will be helpful in the event that this person has to be placed in a nursing home facility or needs more assistance that Medicare/Medicaid might be able to pay for. Without a formal diagnosis of dementia, it can be impossible to get that help.
Also, there may be medications that can help regulate her behavior a bit - antidepressants, etc - and those cannot be prescribed without a formal diagnosis.

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