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As I go thru the Alzheimer's Reading Room I find subjects that are of real interest to me, but when I go further it turns out to be a book for sale, which costs about $15 just for a paperback. There is no way I can afford to buy these. I also looked at one for helping family members understand the scope of the dementia that their grandparent or father is experiencing. Thus book was $24 and I need at least three. No can do. I have checked my library and there is a very limited number of titles dealing with dementia. And again, why is it that most books and articles are geared towards parents that have dementia. I guess that my situation is not all that common. I am 10 years younger than my husband. That creates such a loss. I feel like a widow whose spouse haunts every moment and the affection in any form is crowded out by the constant aggression and agitation, yet I am admonished to stay loving and patient-"it's not really him-he can't help it." Yes he was loving and funny and could do anything around the house and yard, but we did those things together. I am very grateful that he can still dress himself and feed himself and though he is incontinent at night and sometimes during the day, he can toilet himself. but his mind is nearly mush. I bought a few simple games to engage him with. That helps. But I digress. I wish that there were many more informational sites that include the special issues between husbands and wives.

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Ask your local library if they are members of a library loan program. In Tennessee, I can check out any book in any public library anywhere in the state. I request the book, it is shipped from the lending library to my local library, I check it out and return it locally, local library sends it back to lending library. I've been using this program for almost 46 years - started getting all the books in the Black Stalion, Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew and Tarzan series my local library didn't have.

My local city library recently started an ebook checkout program too. If you have a Kindle or something that runs the free Kindle app (smart phone, tablet, computer) you can check out a book for 2 weeks at a time.

P.S. I was shocked in my teens when I requested a recently republished biography from library loan and received a 108 year old first addition!

P.S.S. My library adventures continued in college where I went looking for a history of WWI published prior to WWII - I found it on the shelves - it hadn't been checked out since 1940...
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Reply to TNtechie
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She,
Books for others.......can you hand them a list with recommended books, allow them to get their own? It is just not affordable to be buying books for others at any cost, and I have found others are not likely to read. Sad, but true.

Looking around the other day, I once again realized how hard I try in getting others informed, copying info, mailing info, only to be asked later for the same info!
This activity is something I will be giving up soon. It is so easy for others to give an assignment, ask a favor, or say "do this", and they have moved on enjoying their day. I am still working on it!

As for the topics geared towards mostly caring for parents, I have found that most of the authors writing about spouses have divorced the spouse with difficult challenges, imo. (disclaimer: many many caregivers on AC are still with their spouses and have written some amazing stuff!).
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Reply to Sendhelp
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The way to deal with Dementia/ALZ is pretty much the same whether parent or spouse. But with a spouse there's an intimacy there that you don't have with parents. Actually, you live with a spouse, hopefully, a lot longer than a parent. With a parent the roles change. The parent becomes a child and the child the parent. Spouse is a different dynamic. You lose the love of your life and the closeness you had. Hopefully, another member has/is going thru this and can help.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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