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My Dad is 94 and lives with me. I’m 62 and recently started working again after being caregiver to Mom who passed 5 years ago. I leave at 8:00 AM and don’t return to around 9:00 PM. I walk in park - meet up with a friend for dinner - go to a social group another evening etc. I cannot take coming home to a house that has central air that my Dad is not turning on. It was 86 degrees when I arrived home this evening and I was livid. He sits in family room in the basement with a fan watching tv but I don’t care to do that and the bedrooms are up here where the heat is. I threw open all the windows - tied the curtains back and brought up my small tubular fan that rotates and put it on the living room credenza. He says that I am not the boss of this place yet! Then he tells me that the a/c is not working - I know he is getting confused as to how to run thermostat - but then again he calls no one to fix if he thinks there is something wrong. I told my brother last week that he is not running a/c and he told me to put it on but I cannot bring temp down quickly if house has heated all day and then my dad turns it off before he goes to bed. I called a friend when I got home to this heat and she says you need to go to a hotel! Like I’m going to go spend money plus take everything to go to work next day - I don’t think so plus I need to take care of my kitty 🐈. 😩. WHAT CAN I DO?

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If you have a smart phone or a tablet, you can buy inexpensive thermostats that can be controlled remotely. We have a NEST thermostat that allows us to turn the air on and off via an app on our smart phones. We can check the temperature inside the house using the app and then turn the air on or off. I would look in to one of those. You can also program the NEST to turn the air on at a certain time.
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Your father may find the temperature you enjoy too cold for him. My experience is most 85+ year old adults love a hot room near 80 or above. I suggest installing a NEST thermostat and setting the temperature relatively high and covering the vents in the basement your father occupies so the basement remains warmer than the rest of the house. You may also consider adding a window air condition or a mini-split (ductless) heat pump to the upper level so it can cool the area you occupy down a few degrees from the rest of the house.

I have a NEST thermostat in my home set for 75 degrees in the day time and 68 degrees at night. In summer, the HVAC vents are covered in my mother's room so it stays about 4 degrees warmer. I like my room cooler than the rest of the house and installed a ductless heat pump two years ago for just under $1000. The air handler in my room is a 46"x10"x6" installed at 82 inches above the floor (just above door frame height); it's quiet and can cool or heat the room about 1-2 degrees per minute.
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This is the same thermostat wars topic we get every year and there are lots of helpful suggestions available if you type thermostat into the site search.
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We had to argue with my mom to get her to use the air conditioner at all. When she ended up needing caregivers, she would set her thermostat to come on at 85 degrees. Her poor caregivers were sweating buckets, especially when rolling her 200 lb. body over to change her diapers or bathe her. I gave them “permission” to lower the thermostat. Mom called someone & had them install a clear, LOCK box cover over the thermostat so they could not lower it!!! Kept the key in a pouch around her neck so they could not adjust it! I kid you not!!! I would not even visit her during the heat of the day.

Do you pay the electric bill? If so, remind him you’re paying the bill & tell him to wear a light sweater if he’s cold. Does he like your cat? Tell him the heat will make the cat sick or litter box to smell. Or, you can pull a page out of my Mom’s playbook ; )
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Get a timer. Set it to turn on the ac 45 minutes before you are due home.
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The elderly do not care for AC. They get cold very easily. I am 70 and I carry a sweater with me just in case a place is cold. I keep my ac on 77.
Can the basement room be made as a bedroom for him? Is there a bathroom down there?

Since he is down there most of the time, I agree, close the registers. Maybe cover them with Aluminum foil if he complains air is still coming thru. Basement should be the coolest place in the house. Get a thermostat that you can program. These are great for winter too. Set it at the temp u like when ur home. Maybe you can compromise a little here. I think 78 is the highest temp recommended 78 should keep the house walls cool so it won't be hard getting the temp down to where you like it and save money. Having the house at 86 takes awhile to get the temp down it also cost u more money. If Dad complains, get him a nice sweater. Extra blanket on his bed. You say this is your house, your rules. I would also get a lockable cover for the thermostat. Once set, no one needs to fool around with it. It can be set for weekends too.

Its your home. You deserve to be comfortable in it. Dad has options to keeping warm.

Cracks my DH up. My daughter has her a/c set for 72 or below then sits in her chair wrapped up in a cover.
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Chiswicky, oh I know that feeling of walking into a rain forest, my parent's house was like that for many years.

Here is an idea, if there are rooms that your Dad uses on a regular basis, just close the registers in those rooms.

If there are rooms you both use, close the registers part-way.

If not already, place a TV in the living room for yourself and where that room will remain cool. And, of course, your bedroom will be cool, too.

Where is the A/C outdoor fan located? If it is under Dad's window or nearby, maybe Dad doesn't like the sound it makes. Or it could be just an old habit for Dad to turn off the A/C as he still thinks it becomes cooler at night. Well, that's not the case in today's over-heated world.
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You may need to compromise, the perpetually hot and eternally cold will never agree to the optimal temperature. And of course the basement is naturally cooler and may feel downright cold to your father with the A/C running all day. Even setting the temperature to 78 or 80 is going to lower the humidity and make the house feel less stifling when you get home, and it will make it easier to drop the temperature if you adjust it a little lower after you get home. Leaving the fan running 24/7 will also circulate the air and even out the difference between the upper and lower levels.
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