Dad and Mom got it 10+ years ago. Definitely a good thing for them - they had no savings, no IRA and Dad’s earning capacity was as a high school dropout. Mom never worked outside the home. Over a year ago, I wanted to do some planning ahead and understand her RM / finances. That was the beginning of it all - she’s NOT INTERESTED in sharing anything with me (even though I’m all she has and her POA/AD). “I don’t have to worry about it because I’m going to get everything” she says. There is NOTHING she has that I want, so she just blows me off.
Fast forward to November 2019 when Mom had an ER visit, diagnosed with mild neurocognitive decline, told not to drive till state eval/test. During her stay, she was given the hospital’s Financial Assistance paperwork. Mom poo-pooed the paperwork saying she’ll just pay the hospital when she got the invoice. Told her that hospital give HER the paperwork because she has a need for assistance, given her ER visit, testing, etc. Told her I’d help fill it out. Yessed me in the hospital, but she hasn’t provided enough info (and WON’T, she says). Because, wait for it . . . , she says she has access to a good chunk of money through her reverse mortgage. Yes, she does, but that’s the reason hospital gave her Financial Assistance paperwork — she doesn’t have savings, IRA, pension, etc. Then tells me “That’s the most stupidest thing I’ve heard!” Bottom line is she doesn’t understand a reverse mortgage - she has always said she still owns the house.
She doesn’t believe anything I say, hasn’t talked to me in 2+ weeks because I have her car keys, so any trust and relationship we’ve had in the past is down the toilet.
Thinking I should contact the RM company? I was able to get that info as she has papers lying all over her table and couch. ER doc asked me to enter her home, with Mom’s approval, and bring back the bottles of her meds and saw RM paperwork. Hoping they would be able to send her a letter explaining that she does NOT own her home.
Maybe I can ask the lawyer she trusts who drew up her POA/AD to look over the RM company paperwork and then explain it in simple terms that she does NOT own her home.
TY for suggestions/help!