She keeps a pile of papers & mail next to her chair and states it is none of my business. When I try to get her to go to the doctor, she states her insurance won't cover it, but I have no way of knowing. How can I help her?
Do you have any brothers or sisters? Are you her POA? Does she have dementia or other issues?
This all sounds so familiar to me. My mom was the same way with me when I was caring for her & doing her shopping & dr visits. I knew she wasn’t capable of handling her checkbook anymore & was getting confused with numbers but she refused my help. Even when I would try to sort through all the papers & mail she had next to her chair she’d get upset with me.
Well, POA brother who was doing nothing to help steps in & tells me her finances & health are none of my business. Needless to say when he told me that I told him to do it all himself. So what I’m getting at is if you don’t have POA & someone else does just let them handle it all.
I don’t think they’re capable at that point of realizing we’re just trying to help. My best wished to you.......I know it’s frustrating!
Does you mom have a diagnosis of dementia or other cognitive issues? If not there is not much you can do until it reaches a crisis situation. If she does have a diagnosis of dementia you could file for Guardianship and you then would have the right to access all the information. But Guardianship is not easy and she would have to have a doctor state that she is not competent. There is a lot of paperwork that goes with the Guardianship as well. Not an easy task.
If she is competent, you can't. But you could warn her that you will not rescue her. Something for her to think about. So maybe accepting your help would be wise.
This all sounds so familiar to me. My mom was the same way with me when I was caring for her & doing her shopping & dr visits. I knew she wasn’t capable of handling her checkbook anymore & was getting confused with numbers but she refused my help. Even when I would try to sort through all the papers & mail she had next to her chair she’d get upset with me.
Well, POA brother who was doing nothing to help steps in & tells me her finances & health are none of my business. Needless to say when he told me that I told him to do it all himself. So what I’m getting at is if you don’t have POA & someone else does just let them handle it all.
I don’t think they’re capable at that point of realizing we’re just trying to help. My best wished to you.......I know it’s frustrating!
If not there is not much you can do until it reaches a crisis situation.
If she does have a diagnosis of dementia you could file for Guardianship and you then would have the right to access all the information. But Guardianship is not easy and she would have to have a doctor state that she is not competent. There is a lot of paperwork that goes with the Guardianship as well. Not an easy task.
There are many members in your position. You will get answers.