My dad is a VERY stubborn man, extremely prejudiced and has a fierce temper. My mom divorced him after 50 years of marriage. She put up with enormous amounts of emotional & verbal abuse during those 50 years. After my mom left him my dad lived on his own. On his own he didn't take care of cleaning and struggled to tend to other needs; (ie laundry, grocery shopping, etc) The lease on the house expired and was not renewed. He then stayed with my sister for approx. 2 weeks. He was basically kicked out by my sister because of his opinion of my sisters live in boyfriend and his accusations of them stealing from him. Police were involved in that scenario. After that my dad stayed with my wife & I. Things were okay for awhile. At the 2 week mark my dad went into a fit of rage that was completely unpredictable. Many of the events and things he said about me and my wife he doesn't remember. Many of these things I find hard to forgive him for. Again, the police were involved in removing him from my house. The police brought him to a hospital for psychiatric evaluation. The hospital released him and he ended up staying at a local motel for approx 2-3 months until my mom and found him an independent 55 and older apartment. He has been there for approx 1 year.
Throughout all of this I have had to intervene on a handful of occasions with suicidal threats from my dad. He has done nothing but complain about the apartment he lives in, having nothing to do and complains about the people who live there. He does not take care of his apartment. He doesn't follow some of the rules for living there such as feeding wild animals. He has misplaced his wallet/checkbook and blamed other residents of robbing him. He can't seem to budget for his future needs. He doesn't seem to grasp reality. He has elaborated on various stories/circumstances that become so far fetched that if you tell him different he argues with you. He refuses any county agency assistance. He is a very difficult man to deal with and to try to help simply because he doesn't listen to reason and refuses outside assistance. My relationship with him has been like a long, strange, difficult roller coaster ride with plenty of ups and downs. There have been times when he and I didn't talk to one another for months because of him not wanting to face facts/reality. I am at my wits end as to what to do for him. My brother, sister, mom and I don't know what more we can do for him. Who can we go to for help?
The residence he currently lives in is not renewing his lease because of his attitude and behavior. He needs to be out by end of June. He is convinced that he can buy or rent a house. He applied for a home loan and was denied because of his poor credit rating. He lives on S.S money.
It's a very complex situation. There is so much more to this whole issue that I could go into. He is seeing psychiatrists at the VA hospital. No one has power of attorney over him and honestly no one in my family wants that responsibility with him. I honestly do not think that he is competent enough to live on his own. I do not know if any doctor or psychiatrist/ psychologist has declared him or diagnosed him as "incompetent" or having dementia/Alzheimers.
What can/should my family do next?