Hello, I'm new to this site, but reading your stories has helped me quite a bit. It's a relief to see I'm not alone. Here is my story: I've been caring for my father for the majority of my life. I'm 30 now. When I was in elementary school it was making sure my alcoholic mother wasn't up and around to bother him when he got off work (something that should not have been my problem, but he openly blamed me for), when I was in middle school it was seeing him through a brain aneurysm that he was lucky to survive, in high school it was working 80 hours a week to pay bills because he refused to work, right after graduation it was helping him and my mom who was dying from lung and brain cancer, and currently he is living with me, refuses to do literally anything except sit in front of the TV and eat junk food. I do his laundry, cook, clean, take off work for doctor's appointments, and pretty much anything he needs. He is diabetic and has stage 3 kidney disease currently, and he has been made well aware that he should eat better and take care of himself, and there is no reason he can't do anything, he just will not do it.
Through all of this I managed to put myself through college, even though it did take 10 years, bought a house, and have found a wonderful man to marry me. I have a job I love teaching high school math, and am almost finished with getting my master's degree. The problem is I'm so burnt out and stressed all the time I can't enjoy any of it. He currently get social security, and I told him he needs to find an apartment and move out because I can't take care of him any more. I want to live somewhat normal life for once. Plan a wedding, think about kids. The problem is that he acts like I'm a terrible person for how upset I am, is refusing to speak with me, and pretty much refusing to do the work needed. He says its my responsibility to take care of him, even though both of my brothers have absolutely refused to help at all. He never blames them.
Does anyone else get conflicted like this when they're finally trying to take a stand for their health and well being? Is anyone else in a similar situation? He is capable of taking care of himself, he just refuses to and blames it on everything but himself. I'm sure he has depression but I've gotten him every support imaginable. At what point do I stop caring so much?? I'm tired of sacrificing everything for him, and I feel like I've gone above and beyond what any daughter should have to do for their father, but then he just guilt trips me and throws a tantrum like a child.