My mother-in-law is 67 years old and in the early/moderate stages of dementia. She lives at home with her husband, and we live next door. She also has type 1 diabetes, which coupled with the dementia means really high and low blood sugars sometimes when she forgets to eat, or forgets she took insulin and doubles doses herself. She has a dexcom which has saved her life multiple times this year by alerting me and my husband when we need to go intervene. Her husband is supposed to be her main caregiver but he just doesn't seem to be getting it as far as what it means to be a caregiver. He doesn't do anything around the house as far as cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. He's supposed to be in charge of when and how much insulin she gets, but it's an inconvenience for him so he doesn't. When we have them over for dinner her husband makes rude comments about how he's "so thankful you cook for me. She doesn't cook for me anymore". She'll ask questions about things that have already been discussed and he'll say things like "don't you remember?!" or argue about things of no consequence because "she's not right. What she's saying doesn't make sense." My husband and I don't think it's safe for her to be driving anymore, but his dad thinks having to drive her 10 minutes to visit her mother, or taking her to doctor's appointments or the grocery store is too inconvenient. So he lets her drive. My husband has had several conversations with his Dad about how needs to drive her and accompany her to appointments because she isn't in a place to be making medical decisions. He assures us he will, but then the next time we talk to them he hasn't done any of the things he said he would. We've sent him links to memory care classes and articles, and at the last memory care appointment my husband accompanied them and he and the doctor had a very serious conversation with his Dad about what it means to be a caregiver. But nothing seems to help at all and nothing has changed. Do we just give up, and take over her care and he gets a free pass to a selfish life of doing whatever he wants? At this point, I feel like his inability or unwillingness to be a caregiver is putting her and other people in potentially dangerous situations.