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This morning mom accused me of hitting her which is a total lie! I was horrified and couldn't believe my ears! When I asked her when it happened and where did i hit her she said "Oh no, I'm not gonna talk about what REALLY happened. You wouldn't believe me anyway," refusing to answer anything regarding any details, because of course there weren't any! I would never have considered hitting her, as infuriating as she gets! But if she starts saying something like that to APS, I'll be screwed for something I didn't do! what do i do?

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I'm sure this is something that APS has heard before. It is common with AD. Getting accused of abuse and stealing are two major threats to caregivers and it's horrifying.

Unfortunately, these things happen, so we need people to look out for these issues - which is what APS is about. However, your overall care record should speak for you. You may want to ask neighbors in to visit frequently so that there are people who can vouch for you. As mentioned, if your mother does bruise herself, document it. A physical should put you in the clear if something happens with APS, but be prepared just in case.
My hear breaks for you. It's just so hard.
Carol
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Hi rosebud,
I cannot imagine that the APS has not dealt with this situation before. I think this is very common with AD. My grandmother had AD and she would accuse her son of stealing from her but then when pressed would say "of course he didn't take anything--he would give me the shirt off his back". It was just -well, crazy for lack of a better word.
I would not be too worried. Just make sure to catalog any bruisings that happen from falls or accidents--if there are any ( my Mom bruises easily as she is on a blood thinner) and when your Mom starts up with the abuse allegations just calmly tell her that you would never hurt her and you love her. Maybe give her a gentle hug. Redirect her to something she enjoys so she drops it.

Good luck and , remember, this is very common.
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As my brother stated "while Dad was in the hospital, he was asleep and Jerry Springer was on." The husbands name was the same as his and the wife.....well you guessed it, was the same as hers! I NEED A SHOVEL, I CAN'T BREATHE, THE SH@$, is up to my neck!!
Is an adult actually suppose to believe that non-sense!!
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