My girlfriend is a care provider for a 90 year old man. He is not a family member of hers. She takes care of him because his brother that died 3 years ago asked her to. He gave her his car, home, promises of cash rewards if she would look after his brother.
She put the car and the home in the 90 year old brothers name when the older brother died. She has never received any "cash rewards" for her efforts, even though there was a large amount of money left behind , in which one of the other siblings have control of. As it stands now, none of the siblings do anything out to help care for 90 year old brother. She is there about 20 hrs a day 24-7. She gets paid only for around 20 hrs a week! I myself spend a lot of time helping her. I do all the work on the car, house I pay for all parts, building materials and labor costs. This man needs 24 hr care and all the work on the home and care are necessary, ( damaged roof, floor, car breaking down, tow cost, etc,). His siblings refuse to help us care for their brother so we, my girlfriend mostly are stuck. Walking away and not helping this man is not a option. He was i 3 wars, was at pearl harbor when it got bombed. He deserves better and my girlfriend does too. What can we do? We have no more money, barely making it, but we cannot' abandon this man! It appears that he and we have no place to turn to for help

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If he is 90, how old are his siblings? Call the Soldiers and Sailors home. This guy needs around the clock care.
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Eyerishless's response is accurate and well said!
Good luck to you and your girlfriend!
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It could be that the family doesn't pitch in because they have cheap help in you and your girlfriend. You two work for practically nothing.

Your girlfriend is a live-in caregiver but only gets paid 20 hours a week? And this is OK with you guys? Why??

I understand that you don't want to abandon this man but it seems as if you and your girlfriend are putting his needs before your own. He's not your family and you're being taken advantage of. Who gives your girlfriend her meager paycheck? That's who I'd go to and your girlfriend should tell this person that unless she starts earning a competitive wage she will leave. Check out agencies and see what they pay their live-in's. That's what your girlfriend should be earning at the very least.

This man being at Pearl Harbor doesn't mean that your girlfriend shouldn't be paid the going rate for the job she's doing. My supervisor's boss (the guy who cuts my weekly check) was some kind of field medic in Afghanistan 10 years ago. I still expect to be paid.

Yours is a sad situation. I'm willing to bet that this man gets great care from your girlfriend. Maybe they've formed a bond of some sort. And you're very generous with your time for working on this man's house. But don't you need money to live? If your girlfriend worked in a department store or at McDonald's or in a hospital she would get paid to do that work. This is no different. The only reason I work is for the money! We all work because we all have bills and financial responsibilities. Most people can't afford to work for free or out of sympathy for their employer.

The family has demonstrated that they don't care about your girlfriend. They probably laugh to eachother at how they're ripping her off. If your girlfriend walked away from this situation (giving 2 weeks notice like a professional) this family would figure something out. I just hate to hear about someone being taken advantage of as your girlfriend is. If you're not prepared to walk away then you have to take responsibility for your situation. You have to accept the fact that you don't need to be paid for your work, that your girlfriend doesn't deserve to be paid for what she does. Accept the fact that you two will work for practically nothing. That has to be OK with you. If you don't want to fix it then you're right. You're stuck.
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Call a lawyer and sit down with the family and get everything in writing. You need to know what their plans are and where you fit into the scheme of things. What you have now (nothing) may be all they intend to do and you need to face that reality!

It is very sad when families turn their backs and allow situations like this to grow. I pray the gentleman left some kind of will mentioning your girlfriend, otherwise you all are on your own and should make immediate plans for the family to take over his care.

Hopefully, you have kept track of all the expenses you have incurred and should present that to the family for reimbursement. Keep a copy for your records.

You are both very caring to handle what should be the family's responsibility but it is time to move on and take care of your own future. Best wishes!
Helpful Answer (2)

I agree call the VA for help...

No disrespect , if you choose not to let family take over then you will have to endure the long hours and lack of your own funds..
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Call in the VA!
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