My brother and sister and I are going to have a phone meeting to share the latest conversations we've had with our parents so that we all have the same information from which to make any decisions related to them. Lately, we've each had or own conversations with my parents that make us think it's time we up our involvement. Our quandary is, how does one decide what extra involvement we need to have if my father doesn't share what's really at the heart of his worries and my mother doesn't want to burden us with anything? How do we analyze all the tasks they still do and prioritize and decide which ones we offer to take over? How do we know when it's time to tell them we are going to help them with things even if they don't agree? And what things do we continue to let them do on their own even though it seems they have a lot of anxiety over them. If they don't relinquish duties that they are capable of but that give them so much anxiety, how and when do we decide to do things for them? Now that they are 90 they don't think as quickly, don't understand things as easily and they spend inordinate amounts of time figuring out new technologies (don't we all sometimes?). It keeps their minds active but takes away from time spent on other priorities and everything worries them now. Anyone have experience with this?