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I recently relocated my family to Fl to help care for my 92 yr old grandmother and my terminally ill father. I have not been around for years do to a highly dysfunctional relationship with my dad. But I do love him, and he needs me. He is the only son left of my grandmother and can neither care for her or himself. His brother was my grandmothers caregiver up until he died a few months ago. I enter picture now. My uncles son basically took over my grandmothers care which was minimal. I agreed that he should also be in charge of her finances since that was my uncles domain and I trusted my father not, as he really just wanted to get his hands on her estate. I believed that my cousin was more trustworthy, but now I am having second thoughts. Thing is we had to take my gramma to the lawyer and have her redo her will naming my cousin to be in charge of her finances. She has the beginning stages of dementia and we needed to have this done or everything would have been at dads disposal. During meeting with the lawyer she also named me to be in charge of her medical care. I think she needs in home care or assisted living. I visit every day and prepare her meals and make sure she takes her meds, clean up after her dog, and everything else that she will allow. She does need more than I can provide at this time.My cousin refuses to pay for any extra care she may need and quote says as long as she dont walk outside naked shes fine. I am also concerned he may be spending all her money., but don't know what to do about any of this.

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If you feel your cousin is speeding their money down.Contact the attorney that created the POAs.Tell the attorney what is going on.Is the attorney watching the accounts?The attorney should have created a Trust for your cousin to pay bills is the proper way of doing things.Don't worry about how much your cousin is speeding.If he/she is doing wrong the cousin will have fingers pointing towards him later on down the road by Medicaid and attorney.Either report the things you see to the attorney and APS or have your POA voided.If cousin is doing wrong you don't want no part of it.
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Who ever is Durable POA should also,be POA for healthcare as well.Not one person for finances and one person for healthcare that's very wrong and shouldn't of been done that way.If I got this correct?Your cousin in DPOA and you are POA for Healthcare only.With that said the cousin is in charge of finances.For both of you two to be there helping them both.There must be alot of money involved for a cousin to be involved.I don't wish to sound hateful or harsh but,sounds as if there is alot of greed is involved here.If there's millions of dollars involved I see why the greed but,if only a few $100,000 or so.There's no point in hoping to recieve a dime after a nurcing home gets involved down the road.
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The DPOA is in charge.Thats the person Medicaid will be pointing their fingers towards asking later where did the money/assets go if they ever would need to apply for Medicaid as exceed funds.Do you plan to avoid nurcing homes for them?If you all went to a attorney to create a Will and POAs.Then you better hope they both have tons of money in their savings to avoid appling for medicaid down the road.Because,Medicaid goes back 5 yrs.This means you must avoid them from going broke in the next 5 yrs.Or going into a nurcing home.If you can say for sure they wont need Medicaid in the next 5 yrs.Have a blast blowing their money.Better be stashing funds under a rock as well lol.You can get out of this all and simple void your POA and go back home and enjoy your life.Sounds like you in for a rud awakening.I'm DPOA for a loved one too.What I know now I would never agree to be a POA again in my life time.
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