My mother has been in a Nursing facility for 2 years now. My mother was a single parent with 3 children; my older sister, younger brother and myself. She never drove nor did she work. My mother was a very loving and dedicated mother. But on the other hand, she was controlling, demanding and a bit of a bully towards us. My sister moved away and my brother was on drugs and was out of the picture. I was left to take care of all my mother’s demands and needs. Mom has always been a bit of a Hypocondriac and has always had health issues. I’ve had to be there for all her needs and demands.
Mom lived at home up until 2 years ago and I have been her caregiver for the last 10 years due to her decline in health. My sister has always been supportive but has not been able to put the time in because she was raising her family and working full time. So it was my “job” because I was here and I was a stay at home mom after leaving my job of 23 years (my son is now 17)
My sister calls once or twice a month, and visits a few times a year. When she does come, she spends very little time with mom and plans other activities around mom including visiting with her friends. My brother moved to Nebraska about 15 years ago and rarely contacts any of us. He did call when we sold mom’s house and wanted $20,000.
I realize it is hard for my sister and my brother to deal with mom because she can be very negative and complains a lot. I am used to it and have had to find a way to learn how to deal with her personality over the years, but it has not been easy.
I do feel some resentment towards my sister and brother. I don’t want to feel this way but I can’t help it. Even though mom has been in the Nursing facility I still have to deal with all her complaints, negativity and issues surrounding her health, etc. I do feel some relief now because she is being very well taken care of and I don’t have to put in as much physical time like I used to but I am still putting in the mental and emotional time.
I do feel some resentment towards my sister and brother because they get to carry on with their lives but I am still here dealing with mom. I need to find a way to get over it but having a tough time doing so.