What level of physical activity should I aim for?

It's really in your best interest to work with your mother as long as she is willing because if she loses the ability to stand and walk your role as a caregiver will become exponentially more difficult. The exercises here

https://eldergym.com/leg-exercises/

are exactly what my mom's PT had her doing, I was surprised how beneficial just 10 to 15 minutes several times a week were.

She's 96 -- leave her alone. She's slowing down as is her right.

She's also not going to get PT nor would she benefit from it. If you want to try to get her to swing her arms around a bit while sitting in a chair, OK, but it really won't do anything. She's moving about as much as I'd expect from someone in her condition.

Discuss this with her doctor. My dad had extremely weak legs and walked an incredibly slow shuffle walk, constantly in fear of falling. We went the PT route several times with no appreciable results. There were many tests and attempts to make it better. I’d say to be encouraging of walking, it’s often a use it or lose skill like so many others. But don’t make life miserable for either of you over it, I don’t think it’d pay off much anyway

You may be surprised that your mother qualifies for PT. My mom is 94 and has resists my efforts to help her exercise, so I called her doctor and asked for him to send orders to an in-home agency. There are several where I live - I'm now with one called Advanced Home Health. They will come out and do an assessment on your mother to determine if she will benefit from therapy. My mother now has physical therapy one time each week and occupational therapy twice a week, plus a nurse visit once a week to check her vitals. I also have pursued palliative care which I'm waiting on now. It takes time to get it all in place, so I recommend that you go ahead and get the ball rolling if you can. Peace and blessings.

If your mom is 96 then her activity level sounds about normal.

My mom is 85 & aunt is 93. They have the same level of activity, watch TV in between naps and thats about it.

Mom had several cycles of PT and she makes a feeble attempt to do some arm stretches with the large rubber band. She is wheelchair bound and walks very little. She can transfer herself but that is it.

Aunt shuffles to bathroom with her walker and to eat but thats all. She is getting slower & weaker.

I would not insist on anymore activity.

In my family's experience you can consult her doctor about PT but as we age we are very actively losing muscle mass and if there is no progress from PT they will not keep ordering it.

My 99-yr old aunt with mod/adv dementia needs to be helped up out of the chair and held by a belt to move with a walker from place to place. She is taken out to the mailbox every day, and also uses an arm/foot pedal machine 2x a day for 15-ish minutes.

I do agree with Cwillie that once your LO is no longer able to move with a walk, caregiving will become far more challenging. A secondary benefit to exercising is that she will sleep better. We have my aunt fold a large pile of kitchen towels several times a day, sort colored poker chips, fold napkins for dinner, etc. This also burns mental energy and she requires no sleep aids now where she prior was being given Tylenol PM (and causing her great constipation).

My MIL is now in LTC because she just refused to get out of bed even though there was technically nothing preventing her, but she couldn't be forced. We tried all sorts of PT and incentives, to no avail. Just be tempered in how much your push exercise to your LO and have reasonable expectations.

Are you trying to perform a miracle? I think your mother is in her natural way down. You can't make her younger.

How, doesn't qualify for physical therapy? - are you waiting 'til her hip breaks?

Yesterday evening I followed a client back from her bedroom to her living room laughing internally: all the way to her armchair she recited "push forward, step in, push forward, step in, push forward, step in..." using her frame, then she turned through ninety degrees, step by step like a musical box doll, shuffled back, looked down to see her legs were touching her chair, placed right hand left hand onto the arms of the chair, and seated herself under control.

Yup. You can always tell when there's been a therapy visit that afternoon :)

We're supporting this lady because falls led her to lose confidence in mobility. I don't think she'll need us much longer!

PTs can teach your mother safe standing, walking and sitting techniques, they can help her improve her balance, they can encourage her to engage in seated exercise to improve her respiration and circulation, they can help her protect her own skin integrity by good positioning habits. And sessions make a little ritual of self-care, too, which will encourage your mother to feel she's an active contributor to her own wellbeing and health.

Do not feel guilty for not being a cheerleader and therapist combined. What's wrong with asking the professionals?

Talk to her doctor about her mobility and whether PT is a good idea. If she is able to walk to the bathroom, dining/living room, and to a vehicle... seems she is doing fairly well. Look into "wheelchair exercise routines" online for ideas about ways she can exercise. You both might enjoy following a few on YouTube.

Talk to her doctor and see if he/she will order PT and/or OT for her. My mom had both PT and OT come (to her residence) to evaluate her. She qualified for “X” number of home visits, and yes, they discontinue if she shows no improvement. Another year later, she had PT again. My mom enjoyed the attention, and it did help a little for a while. She’s 99 now, in assisted living, wheelchair bound and not long ago, they ordered some sessions with PT to help with transfers.