Mom has moved farther into later stage of dementia. She has a visiting nurse that comes once a week or so due to recent psych med changes from her Geriatric Psych. The nurse feels that moms condition at this point would put her in the criteria for hospice. However, here PCP won't hear of it. He says that means I am giving up on her? But I am not, I just want her to have more access to drs and nurses, when situations develop. As it stands now, if I have a problem with mom, it will honestly take days to get a reply from her dr., even though I would call daily. Also the visiting nurse has tried to get in contact with PCP and he delays replies.
I know that there is a 6mth or less living with hospice, But I know that if I wasn't here 24/7 with mom she would pass away in a month or two because she is that physically dependent on me. I guess that would be "Failure to thrive" for better words.
SO how do I get a Hospice evaluation if her dr won't sign off on it??? If she does qualify for hospice what should I expect?? What does medicare hospice pay for? Or am I wrong for thinking about going this route??
Help!!! I am so torn.

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p.s. sorry for ur loss dear . ur doc didnt do a very good job . shame on him . i be scared to take mom back in there and yeah ure right no doc is accepting any new paitencs , now thats sad !
there is a walk in med check . am tempeted to start going there .
again i am soo sorry for ur loss . big hugs to you .....
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yellowfever - sounds like ure doing what im doing . all crock full of craps .
u scared me , saying ur dad s chest was rattling , my dad s chest is rattling too , at the ER they said xrays shows he has pn on right lung and brocisist on both , got some good antibodi that cost 300 bucks luckly ins paid all but 30 bucks .
well that doc listened to his chest and said no xray i was floored ! the pac cked dad out in jan , she wanted to make sure he was cleared and ordered xray and till she was satisfied that it is cleared , i like her but she is not a doctor . she took the time to listen to us and took her sweet time to talk to us too . wheni need to se a dr for myself i always ask for her . the last time i did that they told me i had to see my primary dr . i never met the man and from what iheard he is an assbole too . so i couldnt go see her ! what the sam hill !
system is all screwed up .
i guess we ;ll just have to be a doctor our self . order meds from mexcio ?
hope the good lord guide us the way he sees fit ....
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Linda, I know about drs who are worthless!!!! moms primary dr is one. The last time we was there was after moms discharge from hospital is gave me attitude. I guess because I took mom to ER at another hospital that he doesn't go to. I told him that I took her there because of better hospital. But thats my right ,isn't it!!! Anyways ,I have a beef with this dr and he knows it. My dad when he was still alive went to this dr too. My father died of Congestive Heart failure 2 days after he was seen by him. The dr told him(I was there) that he was having panic attacks. While all along one could hear that rattle in his chest!!! My father was very over weight and wasn't able to lose. My dad asked him for several years about Gastric Bypass. Again, this doctor said "NO" told my dad he needed willpower to get weight off.
Too stay with my point( I had to vent a little) I think that dr's think that because they have a degree that makes them "god". I am not a stupid person I too try to ask questions and get shot down with no reply. Linda said that she wished dr seen her get her dad to car. I wish this doctor would do the same, heck I wish he would come here and take care of mom for a few hours. Maybe his "no" to everything will change!! Oh yeah forgot to mention, Mom now is unable to walk on her own with out me steadying her. I asked and visiting nurse asked about walker or wheelchair. Thats been weeks ago and still no script or reply. I did borrow a walker from a neighbor. Yes, I know we can buy one out right, but if he writes a script than medicare will cover. Mom will also qualify for VA benefits from my father, still waiting on this stupid dr to fill out forms. He says that mom won't be able to get help cause she doesn't need 24/7 care. Wow, then why have I been here 24/7 with mom bathing, feeding, dressing and changing her if she don't need 24/7 care!!!
I have called different drs around that I heard was better, But of course no one is taking new patients. At this point, I refuse to let this doctor take the life of another parent without a fight!! Mom is getting worse, why not get the help she deserves. My parents didn't pay taxes for nothing!! All this man has to do is approve Hospice eval.
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thanks christina . i dont think im going back to that dr . i will keep takin pa to ER from then on ., he also said why did he go to ER for ? i said well i thought he was on his way out . that didnt do any good also .
theyre all a jerk escaily in my town . eeek ...
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That doctor is just a man with a degree. Sound to me that he has a GUILTY CONSCIENCE, and I bet of you ask him, he has some experience with caregiving/elder relative of his OWN that he did not handle well. If I were you--but I'm not that sweet")--I would call him up, leave a message for him to call you, and ask him what his problem is. Ask him if he watched you struggling to get your Pa in the van, tell him how much you love your Pa, that you need help immediately, and see what the doctor has to say. He is a human being, not a god. Don't be intimidated by him. Demand an explanation of his crappy bedside manner and also when is he going to write the prescription or referral for hospice help.
LindaHeart, love you.
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yelowfever- im going thru the same thing u are . i ask dad s doc if i could have hospice , he said no he doesnt quilfy for one , i said well he has tumor on his bladder , he said nah , i said dementia , nah . and he was ready to walk away amd turned around and ask me why does he need pain pills for . i said well he gets out of bed and falls and hurts his back and scrape his skin off his elbow , he said give him tyelnol ! and walked out . my face turned beet red and i was crush ! that doctor has hurt me so much . i did tel him that i needed help .
he didnt give me the time to tell him my dad sleeps alot and alot of time im thinkin he is on his way out . but he wouldnt give me a another mins to explain . give us a bill and zoom he s out of the office . he did say that he ll send home nurse out to see if he is quilfy for one but he never did .
it was a big slap acros my aface that day , how i wish he had looked out the window to see how hard it was for me to get him in the van ! now my lower back is all messed up .
when i ask about hospice he just stared at me , it was almost i could read his mind that i have other option to put him in nursing home or a option to care for him . like i was one stupid caregiver . that day hurt me so much and i still am hurt . its 3 days now im stil feelin hurt .
i think the best bet is to hire someone and pay for it out of ur pocket , i cant do that , i need all the money i have to pay my bills . so im stuck ,
hopefuly someone here can give us a clue how to get a hospice .
i am too torn ...
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