This journey with our parents has certainly left me with some concerns. How about you?

Maybe we are lucky in some way. All of our parents have passed away. We have no children. Her only sibling lives out of the country and cannot travel to visit us here. I only have a brother left, with a niece and three nephews hanging around. Only my brother seems to care. The niece aand nephews don't seem to care what happens.
Our expenses have been greatly reduced since I retired and she became ill. She no longer plays bingo and I don't have to buy gas for both vehicles.
We don't go shopping the way we used to do. For the past few years we have bought our clothes and most other stuff from a thrift store. Since she has gotten worse we don't even do that now.
We are now able to save a lot of our income. All of her meager SS goes into her savings and what is left over of mine goes into my savings.
No more dining out mainly because of her incontinence and out bursts.
Still this is not the retirement I had hoped for.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to OldSailor

Segoline, my parents always lived way below their means [saw first hand the Great Depression]. They were quite fugal living on one income, and I was quite surprised at how much they had saved over all those years.

It was easier back then as no one had to pay to watch TV [cable costs and super-size TV's].... nor did anyone have to pay mega buck every couple of years for a cellphone, not counting the monthly fees. No one was trying to keep up with the Jones. Coffee was 10 cents.

My parents did fine with one car. Designer clothes, nope. My Mom had a knack of making clothes last forever. Gosh she was still wearing the parka I had in high school, that was over 50 years ago. Only time new items were brought into the house is if Dad just couldn't fix the old items any more, believe me he tried. He did use a lot of epoxy and duct tape :P

So I have followed their course of action. Actually I get a big kick on how long I can keep something running before replacing. My Jeep is 23 years old [bought it when it was 2 years old], no major issues. My previous company would match my 401(k) savings dollar for dollar, so I did the max. Put money into the stock market. And refused to touch the equity on my house. Used drug store make-up instead of Kayee Jenner's... who can tell the difference???

Flip phone here, too :)

Ah the sticker shock of the cost of aging. I know I was in shock at the hourly rate for my Dad, for around the clock 3 shift of caregivers, which would amount to $20k per month, thus it could have been $240k per year. But I did understand all the work that was involved. Dad eventually moved to Assisted Living which wasn't as costly by comparsion. And Mom's long-term-care facility at $12k per month, thus $144k per year. Any savings would quickly start to disappear.

Now this is what really irks me. Those running for 2020 in the U.S. Presidential race, some want to tax those folks who have over a certain net worth. That would have meant, if my parents were still alive, a significate tax bite.

Not fair to retirees who lived below their means so they could save for all those "rainy days" which usually turn into really huge storms cost wise as they age. I hope AARP gets in on lobbying against such taxing. Some candidates are asking for a big tax bite.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to freqflyer

Currently we’re very careful with our money (I have a 5 year old flip phone, my husband’s is 8) and I’m trying to decide if I want to sock away as much money as possible to keep myself out of the nursing home as long as possible (like my mom did) or if I want to live it up, enjoying the modest amount of money we will have (barring health issues that may pop up) before I end up in the nursing home anyway. I’m 48 with a child still at home, so I’ll have to see how my attitude continues to evolve.
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Reply to mollymoose

My family lives on a budget with set amount for this, set amount for that, no eating out at fancy restaurants, no expensive trips. For my mother who constantly asks to go out everyday, I have to pay people to take her out for hours at a time, and it costs more and more money. We're selling her jewelry to pay for part of the costs. Might as well, it's her things and we're using them for her benefit.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to polarbear

I haven't had to cut down on anything yet. My husband and I, at this time, have no big health issues. Just the usual aches and pains of a 69 and 72 yr old.

I have been sitting here wondering how I can save my house, though. No not to defraud Medicaid as such but to save it from Medicaid.

My Mom went on Medicaid. Now selling her house at Market Value may have been easy if the house had been maintained and the economy in our area was good but neither was or is. Mom had a 125 yr old Farmhouse sitting on wetlands and falling apart. It never sold and may never sell. So I can't close Probate. Its been a real headache and I don't want this for my girls.

Now even if the house had been kept up and the economy good, once Mom went on Medicaid none of her income could be spent on the house only on her care. So, no taxes can be paid, no utilities or upkeep unless the family wants to foot the bills because....Medicaid may not allow you to be reimbursed for the money you laid out. I am retired so I can't afford the loss. So Moms house just sits and rots.

I don't want this for my house. Nor do I want my kids to go thru what I am going thru. I want them to be able to do what they want with the house. Live in it or sell it with no headaches. There are investments that hopefully will take care of us when/if needed. By the way, my home is not worth a lot of money.

We leave in a town with a number of empty homes. We wonder how many are sitting empty because of Medicaid rules.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to JoAnn29
polarbear Feb 10, 2019
JoAnn- What a tough situation you're in. Perhaps you want to post this issue on a separate thread and others can chime in with suggestions.
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