She wants to give her kids large (5,000) gifts of money. I have explained to her (MIL) and my husband why she can not do so. Thankfully I was able to get them to put house sale money into a CD, under $50,000. Now she wants to withdraw her savings for them. All I get is "it's MY money, I'll do what I want with it" . My fear is that if something happens and she needs an AL or NH in the future the other 2 siblings will have spent the funds and will cry poor when and if that time comes putting the whole financial burden back on us as usual. She has not been declared incompetent even though her short term memory is beginning to slip since her second cardiac incident in one year. She has some minor personality changes since then but not enough to enact husband's POA. Since she resides with us I not only feel a health / wellbeing responsibility for her, but also a fiduciary duty as well. I KNOW the SILs will take and spend the money in a blink of an eye (no they do not help physically or monetarily at all) the one who does live close enough to visit every other month for about 1 or 2 hours is so busy inventorying my home to see what she can get after mom passes really ticks me off. She has made it a point to tell her I really like this mom, can I have it when you're tired of it? Informed her um, no those are my antiques, I just let her use them. She comes back with oh, so you gave them to mom. Again, no those are mine, she's just using them. So they're a gift. Finally had enough and told her, this is my home, these are MY items for her to use and enjoy as long as she resides with ME. When she is no longer here I will be putting them back where they belong. Finally got thru to her cuz snippy reply was oh, so all of this is yours. Yep. Just to give you an idea of what I'm up against. The other SIL that lives 1200 miles away told me there is no such thing as a Medicaid spend down, God help me. MIL is headstrong and will get other SIL to take her to the bank, and she will if there's money in it for her.