My mom passed away suddenly a couple of years ago and had been my dad's caregiver following his heart attack.
Since she passed, his mobility/mental health, etc has declined. He was still driving/living independently and I went to his house every night to prep his meds for the next day and make sure he ate and had groceries in the house. He had a mild stroke 2 weeks ago and is currently in Inpatient Rehab. He has always been known for his stubborn streak and being generally adversarial, loud and argumentative. Since his stroke he has not been able to walk and is now either unable or unwilling to cooperate with rehab.
We cared for my wife's father (dementia) for 10 years and always agreed he would stay with us as long as he was ambulatory, could toilet and bathe with assistance. We had planned to offer the same opportunity to my father "when the time came".....now he has gone from being relatively independent and driving to being confined to bed/wheelchair and having intermittent episodes of confusion of time/place/people, being uncooperative and borderline combative less than an hour after a (I thought!) lucid discussion about goals and getting him strong enough to come home with us.
He weighs about 250-275 lbs. I am still working but I have an Arachnid Cyst with a VP Shunt that drains into my abdomen, I am not supposed to lift more than 25 lbs. My wife was forced to retire 7 years ago due to chronic illness (Auto-immune disorder, Degenerative Disc/joint disease and several herniated disc, Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis)......there are many days that she has mobility challenges and needs assistance herself. Neither of us are physically able to provide the level of care my father needs. He is basically indigent and we do not have the financial resources to pay out -of-pocket for his care.
What happens to him when the inpatient rehab has to release him and he can't walk!?!
We can't bring him here because we are not physically able care for him....where do people in this situation go?
What is our legal position and what are we liable for as "only" children?
There is no other family able to help and no one else to turn to.
We are at a complete loss here.