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My husband has gotten a much needed new job an hour away and my mom will be staying in her apt here. She manages well with social services overseeing her and several helpers, I think she will be alright, unless she falls.... She doesn't let me help her with meds, money, or anything important, and I'm only seeing her or driving her places once a week now; she gets other people and pays them something. I feel badly about leaving her, but do not want to manage her (impossible - she has never let me, and we tried living together, the three of us - ugh), so her doctor and social services can help if she falls (God forbid!) or something; I would not be able to come as I do not drive in winter. Am I missing anything? My brother has never helped, except he sent money now and then, and he lives a long way away. With no relative or POA to help, what happens?

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Dear mally1,

Good for your husband on his new job. I hear your concerns about being an hour away from your mom. From what you are saying she is managing with help. If you are worried about a possible fall, do you think she would consider assisted living or a nursing home? The social worker might have already suggested this, but maybe they can have her wear a necklace or watch where she can page for help. Or if she is willing, you could install a Nest security camera in her living room to monitor her remotely. Even though you will be an hour away, I assume you would still check on her maybe once a week or once a month? Call and check on her? This might be a good time to talk with your mom about having a POA.
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