My mom gave me durable POA if and when she could not make good decisions. That time has come, what do I need to do?

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After 7 years, she was just diagnosed with advanced dementia. She does not know what day it is or season or able to put the numbers properly on a clock or tell what time it is. I have been calling every morning to remind her of the day. The POA is registered with the town, what else do I need to put her in assisted living? She still refuses to go.

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Alexina, all you need is your DPOA to use to make financial and medical decisions for your Mom. No need to go to Court.

I have read on the forums here where some grown children ran into issues trying to use a Power of Attorney for their parent at a bank. My Dad was still mobile enough and could still think somewhat clearly that I brought him to the bank. Everything worked out smoothly.  He was more than happy to hand over the bill paying to me... oh joy.

What the Bank did was add me to Dad's checking and savings account so that I would sign checks for Dad to pay bills. It made life sooo much easier having that control.

If you still feel uneasy about what to do, then make an appointment with an Elder Law Attorney, they specialize in us get through this maze... and are very helpful if and when your Mom may need to apply for Medicaid.

If it is the decision to sell the house, make sure the DPOA has the address of the property listed. Depending on how the laws are in your State, where I live that information needs to be on there so that I could sell my Dad's house, and put the equity into his accounts for his use only.  I took the easy route, I sold the house "as is" and Dad was quite pleased with the Contract price. 

Now, clearing out the house is another matter.... good luck... it can be very time consuming.
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My brother and I want to rent her house to help with the monthly costs of assisted living. So in order to deal with her checking accts. and paying her bills and the real estate and her investments do I need something from the court that says I can take over. Or do I go to the bank with the POA she had written up and the letter from the doctor. Or maybe I need a Lawyer to do this?
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Alex, now is the time to start using the Power of Attorney to have your Mom live in a safer environment.... I assume Mom lives alone in her home, correct?

Make copies of the dementia diagnose as that will come in handy when you look at Assisted Living/Memory Care facilities. The facilities will still want to evaluate your Mom to make sure she does fit the scope of Memory Care.

Is Mom able to budget the cost of Assisted Living? My Dad was paying $6k a month for his studio apartment. Or are you thinking skilled Nursing Care? Those facilities can run $10k a month, unless Mom can qualify for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare].

Oh, you mentioned that Mom would refuse to move. Give her two choices. Hopefully she still understands the value of money. One choice is that she can live in her house but she would need 3 full-time caregivers per day which would cost on average $20k per month, yes per month......

second choice, she could move to a "retirement community" [don't say assisted living or memory care] and that cost much less, at around $6k per month. She would be with people of her own generation. She would have a person come in to clean her apartment once a week, another to do the linens, and a chef to prepare her meals. My Dad said he felt like a King living there :)

Will Mom have the house sold any time soon? That's another maze.
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