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From a previous post, our aunt has an appt. for an assessment with the Area Agency on Aging. This AM we showed up to check on her and found her wandering around her apartment looking for someone to help her get her bra on. Of course, there was no one there. She was crying and almost hysterical. We thought of just calling the ambulance to come take her, but then my cousin said if she seems ok when they come and her vitals are good, they probably wouldn’t take her and we wouldn’t be charged for the call. Yesterday, we called around to a few local nursing homes and are waiting to hear back, but we need to do something sooner rather than later. Sorry, at this point I am sure I am just rambling.

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Maine127, I'm following your two threads, and my thoughts are with you and your aunt. I'm so sorry, it such a hard place to be in, and there are no easy answers, our country doesn't have a system in place that makes for an easy transition for folks like your aunt. It may be very hard for you to place her in a nursing home on your own. She likely will need to qualify both medically and financially for LTC Medicaid. She likely will qualify financially for LTC Medicaid, but may not qualify now medically. Somebody needs to get the ball rolling though and start the application with the state. AOA will help with that. If she's not yet medically qualified for LTC nursing home care, you may not be able to place her on your own. AOA (or some other social worker from some other agency, either from the state or hospital) is likely to put pressure on family to "take her in". You do not have to and please don't feel that you are obligated to or feel guilty if you can't do it. You can say "no, I don't have the ability or resources to safely supervise her at my home". As Alva said, the most efficient and reliable way to get her the care she needs is through the hospital, I would call 911, at his point she seems like she may be a danger to herself. Sadly, I think the options besides that are few to none. APS can be called, a guardian can be appointed and they can ensure the safety of your aunt. That is what would happen if no family were around, and I think they would be able to place her in a facility a lot easier than you could on your own. Good luck, and please keep us posted if you can.
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Your best bet is 911 and ambulance transport to hospital where assessment can be done, evaluations, testing physically and mentally, and where you should at ONCE contact the Social Worker to help assign a temporary guardian if family wishes to do this, and to follow case for safe discharge, whether to facility or home you cannot know.
This could be as simple as a UTI, as complex as a stroke or dementia. She needs medical eval now. Call 911. Hope you will update us. Good luck.
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Maine127 Mar 2022
Thank you for your response. We thought about calling 911 but my cousin seems to think if her vitals were good and she was coherent til they got there they wouldn’t take her I’m not sure either way honestly but feel we need to do something and this sitting and waiting doesn’t help. Of course she was all calmed down within about an out or so but not looking forward to what tomorrow will bring
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Does your Aunt have the finances to private pay? If so, I feel quite confident most nursing homes would be more than happy to accept her w/o an assessment if she has a need for care. Call around and find out. But like cwillie said, Memory Care Assisted Living may be a better fit for her; for that type of managed care, a medical diagnosis of dementia/ Alzheimer's WOULD be required.

If you find your Aunt hysterical & wandering around looking for help again in the future, I would definitely call 911 and have them transport her to the ER for an assessment THERE as to what's going on! Don't make assumptions yourselves about anything, that's my advice.

Good luck!
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PeggySue2020 Mar 2022
Plus once in the er, just tell them there’s no family or caregivers for her to return to. It’ll then be on hospital to put her in snf
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You might not get nh placement if all she needs is getting a bra on and can showtime. The aoa probably sees people who poop frequently on the coffee table, haven’t showered for a month, wander out of their apartment and so forth.
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Maine127 Mar 2022
Thanks for your responses she def needs more care than we can offer. Her short term memory is totally gone leaving the stove on not bathing or grooming and the list goes on. We have a case worker coming but nothing seems to move very quickly unfortunately and we certainly do not want to hear that she caught the apartment building on fire etc. causing even more havoc. We are sure once they do an assessment and cognitive tests where we stand but the waiting is the worst part. Sorry today I am rambling
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Nursing homes usually only take people whose physical needs can't be met in other settings, from your description your aunt likely wouldn't qualify for that level of care. Memory care, however, is for people who have dementia - I think that is what you need to be searching for.
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