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I have a social worker who had demonstrated unethical behavior for over 1 year. Most recently she has colluded with my elderly mother, diagnosed with dementia to have me evicted from our family home. I care for my 88 year old Father with prostate cancer, whom I discovered was uncared for and walking around with undiagnosed cancer prior to my arrival 2 years ago. My mother would subject him to full blown rages where he would shiver in fear, leaving him traumatized by her screaming. Knowing she showed symptoms of dementia, it would take an arrest to have her evaluated and confirmed with the disease. The SW that took my complaint sympathized with her and has taken a personal interest in having me removed from our family home, even going as far as to recommend services that do not compare to the care I provide for my sick Father. With our family divided over my parents care, my Father chose both me and my sister as his agents and POA. Since the POA secures my residency and care for my Father, my Mother was unsuccessful at having me evicted. Exactly 3 days of learning that my Mother's suit was dropped, the SW paid me a visit, accused me of manipulating my parents and taking my Father's money, a charge my Mother falsified not one week after her arrest. I keep tight records and receipts and was never charged. This time the SW lied stating I told her that I was going to move out one year earlier, a conversation that was never had; then she moved on to the eviction, when I stated it was unsuccessful due to my POA and caregiver status, she questioned the validity of the POA and DEMANDED to see it. I went to show her, and called my sister to witness the call. The SW became agitated, told me "you can't record me", when I explained that it was legal and by remaining she agreed to be witnessed, she ended the visit and ran. She returned one week later because my brother secretly asked her to, and I came downstairs to record her, and she said.." you are not going to record me.." and ran again. She followed up with a phone call, I had my sister on the call to witness it and she quickly hung up AGAIN!!! She finally made contact with her supervisor, who never identified herself and demanded a copy of the POA, which has nothing to do with what she claimed she was investigating BUT a focus on getting me evicted by nullifying a POA drafted by Attorney's. Her behavior and intentions are clearly biased and unethical. I need to know the boundaries of her legal authority to demand my Father's legal documents AND as a licensed professional, what are the steps to go after her liscencing for abuse of power and interfering in the care of an elderly cancer patient? Any wisdom out there?

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APlacefor4 Dad, most posters on here are reasonable and helpful, while a small percentage either don't read carefully or insert their own facts and misconceptions or preconceptions into situations that don't exist. Try to ignore those posts and posters and focus on the helpful ones.
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APlace4Dad Dec 18, 2020
Thank you. Most are helpful, and that's my focus. Thank YOU for being there.
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I have quite a bit of experience with APS, usually a visit or two and never to be seen or heard of again.

When you say family is divided, does that mean you have more than one sibling? Why are you not cooperating with the investigation?
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I have alot of experience with APS and personally feel they are useless. One visit and they are gone never to be seen or heard from again.

My questions are when you say the family is divided, does that mean you have more siblings than your sister? Also, why are you not cooperating with the investigation?

From what you have written, the tone and the anger towards your mom, it sounds like the worker has a legit concern over HER care and treatment. You and dad are not the concern.

So as POA, you cannot gain financial advantage. So are mom and dad's names both on the house? What are you doing for your mom exactly? Your mom has rights in her home.

I would suggest not being so combative and cooperate. Investigations are usually one or two visits.
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APlace4Dad Dec 18, 2020
I encourage you to go back and re-read my post again.

There is no anger towards my Mother who is clearly ill, how could it be? She is ill. Dementia is a broken brain. There is heightened anxiety between caring for her in this state and protecting my Father which is like walking a tight rope constantly. They both need to be protected in different ways. Division, of course there is division? IF, there are 2 adult siblings who neglected to visit often enough to even see what I discovered immediately from getting off a plane, shouldn't you question why that was? LOVE shows up. Its does not do what is convenient is sacrifices to fix what is broken. AND, are you not glossing over the fact that these are our parents, with totally different life threatening illnesses that require a decision making that will impact an entire family as a whole? I wish you see them through my eyes, they are not patients, they are my fragile Mom and Dad and dependent on me to make sure they are well. To imagine, assume or even interpret that interacting with the combativeness and aggression, typical of dementia patients is "fighting with your mother" is irresponsible. If you had any knowledge of this disease, its symptoms and how it isolates the brain to certain people, events and lifestyle in their history versus their present, you would have a better understanding of this dynamic, much like those who have posted with helpful solutions. As it pertains to the POA, attorney's are licensed professionals who make determinations of the mental soundness of the individual PRIOR to drafting this legal document and the criteria is framed around those observations and the desires of the one being protected. I encourage you to read the post of those managing the care of an elderly parent with this disease, it isn't something you are prepared for, but you'd better get as much help as you can. Your impressions couldn't be more wrong.
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You have complained to the higher ups. Not just the supervisor but gone over their head too? If so, I think a lawyer is a good idea. In the meantime I would request that this SW be accompanied by another APS employee or a police officer when she comes to your house. If not, you will not allow her to enter the premises. She is just stirring up an already volital situation if Mom looses it.

Its been said on this forum to be leery of bringing the government into your life. Your a good example why not to. So you have POA for Dad but not Mom. Just wondering, why don't you remove him from the house and let this SW be responsible for Mom? Maybe if you and Dad were out of the picture the SW would see that Mom has problems.

If Mom is ever violent, call the police. Tell them she is a threat and you cannot allow her back into the house until she is evaluated physically and neurologically. Actually, if I had to choose, I would try to get Mom placed in LTC with Medicaid paying for her care and Dad being able to stay in the home. A lawyer versed in Medicaid can explain what Dad becoming the Community Spouse means.

Good Luck
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APlace4Dad Dec 18, 2020
Joann29 thank you very much for the help and encouragement. You offer a lot of wisdom and solutions. The police have told us we need a permanent solution, his doctors said, it will not change for him unless he is removed from the environment.

My prevailing question to every adult grandchild who knew...and every adult who would listen is, for the past 2 years is ..." HOW do we get her help and HOW do we protect him from her rages..." ...I got crickets. My elder brothers who were HERE, have not surfaced to answer to the neglect and exploitation.
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I'm kind of in the same "boat". Keep us posted how it goes with legal.
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APlace4Dad Dec 18, 2020
I will.
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I believe that APS has the right to ask for a copy of the POA.

Your mother has rights, as well.
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APlace4Dad Dec 18, 2020
My mother has counsel. They protect her rights, and respect the POA in place.
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This is so sad that you reached out for help and had it all turned around on you by this SW. My experiences have not been all that great either and my extended family had one SW who actively tried to block an adoption for what amounted to nothing more than a lack of professional boundaries and SW's own problems that she had growing up. Truth was eventually revealed, but adoptive family went through paces that they should not have had to do because of this one person who decided it was time to put forth an agenda. That said,25+ years ago a friend of mine was a social worker and was struggling in the profession due to a "job description" which failed to clearly define her job. I do think a lack of job definition, high turnover at times, inadequate on-the-job training, poor/nonexistent supervision and things like that do lend themselves to some SW believing they have a LOT more power than they really do. Of course, the other side of the coin are those who simply do not perform their jobs because they believe they have LESS power and influence than they really do. In terms of professionalism, this particular SW that OP is writing about seems to have a personal investment in this situation and that should not be the case. In terms of demanding to see legal documents, I don't know that she has the right to see them and I also don't know if she would even have the background to interpret them, so why does she truly need them? I personally do not recall ever turning over POA documents to a SW. For that, I would suggest following up with the attorney who drafted that document and explain that you are being challenged in this way. I would think that a legal consultation in the interest of protecting your parents would be paid for with their own funds - but sometimes you can get questions answered for free if it's a straightforward question.
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APlace4Dad Dec 17, 2020
This is very helpful AND all you cited in your observation of what I wrote is right on. THIS IS PERSONAL for this SW. Her actions, which are fiercely driven are based solely on what is perceived. She obviously sympathizes with my mother because she represents an image of vulnerability that SHE has seen in her own life that justifies her going beyond professional boundaries to protect a lifetime abuser instead of the elderly man being abused. I am the only thing standing between my mother and killing him and her insatiable desire to be satisfied by inflicting harm prevents her from stopping. There is only ONE professional who actually recognized this in my mother. Thank you for your wisdom.
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I think your options are to speak to her supervisor or the head of social services, and if that doesn't help the situation, get a lawyer.
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APlace4Dad Dec 17, 2020
My sister complained to both her supervisor AND the regional over 1 year ago when she manufactured the first charge. She insisted she be removed for bias. I assumed she was never removed because of intrusions such as the most recent. This is definitely being escalated higher. Thank you for your support.
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Is this Social Worker from Adult Protective Services?
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APlace4Dad Dec 17, 2020
Yes. I am seeking a lawyer. She's practicing her own brand of social work.
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I gotta say you seem on top of things and need more of a legal guidance. More defined guidance than what's offered here.
But if you need what's offered here.......Go Get 'Em Tiger! Stay The Course! Put Your Feet In The Right Place & Stand Firm!
Now go get defined legal guidance.
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