I have provided 99 % of the care for my mother over 15 long, hard years. My brother lived near mom and was retired, but I had to go to Rochester, NY to care for my ill parents (from Maryland). I was also working full time. Of course, as I had to stay taking care of them, I LOST MY JOB. Dad died after 6 weeks. I had gotten both of them into the hospital, then hospice for Dad, then did the funeral arrangements. The list of how many hells I had to go through for my mother over the next 15 years is too long to mention, but there has been a ton of legal and administrative work taking alot of my life. Then we had to get mom out of her home and into assisted living. My good husband and I spent 2 1/2 months clearing out her home -all day, every day. I did all the paperwork, doctor's appointments and got her into assisted living. No help from brother. My brother came to help clear out mom's house a few hours on a few days. It was back breaking. My husband and I did 99% of the work leaving our home in Maryland for months at a time, paying for things like cutting the grass etc. My brother controls my mother's money. She put him on her accounts and took me off as POA when I provided proof that he was spending her money for his own uses. Did that lawyer in NY State act unethically? When I questioned her how she could take me off as POA, she said she had not registered the POA. How can that be ethical???? Do I have any recourse???
Anyway, there is more property that has to be emptied and dealt with, not to mention other administrative work. My brother wants our free services again. I need low cost help. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose out if there is any inheritance to be had {as I LOST MY JOB and spent endless amounts of time caring for her/them }. But I don't want to be his free labor again. He is trying to get money from me that mom gave when we emptied and sold her house - when he got twice as much and didn't do any of the work. I can't take the inequity and injustice of it all. Please give real definite suggestions of how I can protect myself from being abused again. What sources of help are available to protect me that really work? My brother switched lawyers away from the lawyer mom had been working with (where we were both POA). He got POA away from me. He also lives near her and controls her decisions. The new lawyer is working for him while Mom is paying the lawyer's bill. Mom has dementia and I have proof of it as I had to have many tests done. I need practical help and advice!!!!
If he does not agree to pay you then do no work for the "estate" He can pay professionals to do any work that needs to be done.
Frankly I would not count on any inheritance as he can make sure that disappears. And the only way you could "find" it is if you hire your own lawyer and possibly a "forensic accountant" and how much would that cost you and how much would you get. The only ones that "win" in cases like this are the lawyers. Truth be told it does not sound like it is worth the emotional toll it will take.