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My husband has moderate dementia and tried adult day for 6 days and then said no more, I dont like it, I don't need to go there .I'm the sole caregiver,no children and no close relatives. I'm next going to try in home care, but can't think of a way to smoothly transition someone into the home without him saying he's being babysat. I need coverage because he already wandered once and needed the police to get him home. When left alone in the home too long he gets into things and can't remembe r what he did while I stepped out. I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. He needs coverage and I need some help to be able to go and do what needs doing.

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Definitely get someone in and explain that it is for YOU. My dad is the same way - he refuses anyone to come in and babysit and insists my step mom doesn't need breaks - which she desperately does. Don't let it get to the point where you nearly have a breakdown before getting help in. My step mom let it get that far. She still only gets 2 hours on Monday and Wednesday because she gives in to my dad who refuses more. It is your life too - he needs to compromise.
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I wish I had an answer for you. I care for my mother, who wants to stay home and watch TV each day. It's nearly impossible to get her out of the house to do anything. I think it is because she feels comfortable and safe inside the house. I think often how nice it would be just to have the place to myself occasionally.

The only solution I can think of is to find something that your husband does like. I've heard that some daycare programs are rather dull, with seniors that just sit around. Do you know what the program was like that your husband was attending? Maybe you could find one that is more to his liking. Good luck!
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