My parents are 89 & 86. Mom has dementia and sleeps a lot during the day. My dad often buries himself in paperwork. I know they are both bored but I can't get them to socialize. They both need some company & I need some help caring for them - laundry and ironing would be great and some light housework. They are really resistant to anyone coming in ....

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Very true church mouse - my mom misses her siblings and friends and says no one knows her - she calls her only friend (when they're not fighting) at memory care by the name of her dear friend who passed long ago - occasionally the woman will ask me who is daisy ? I just joke and say smile and wave - it's good to keep a little sense of humor in bleak situations
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Do your parents live alone, Karen, or do you live with them?

If they're on their own, tell your father that your mother needs help with the housework and tell your mother that your father has asked you to find her some help with the housework. It isn't lying - you just have to be a bit nimble about the order in which you tell them the different things.

If you live with them, tell them *you* need some help with the housework.

A new face and an extra pair of hands are a good idea. I'd just not expect too much on the social interaction front. Your parents may seem bored - though I doubt if your mother is - but here's the thing: when you are losing friends and your activities are falling by the wayside, you don't want a new social life, you want your old one back, and it just isn't possible.

I hope your parents will welcome the new recruit! And any stimulation is better than none. But if you make practical support the main aim you won't be disappointed if they don't actually 'make friends' with the new person; and importantly you won't be setting her up to fail - after all, it won't be her fault if they don't fall on her neck with gratitude!
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Are you just getting up or going to bed?

This is an exceedingly difficult task if your parents have never even had someone help with the housekeeping and they are used to being alone
Depending on your needs try to make them your friend coming for a visit

As hard as I tried to keep my mom at home she just wouldn't accept strangers coming in and with my long work hours I needed more than just one agency hired caregiver

Also you may need to keep your expectations realistic about cooking and cleaning etc if you cook ahead of time they'll be able to hear it up in the microwave but I still had a housekeeper even with a caregiver 12 hours a day - their cleaning consisted of putting dishes in the dishwasher and carrying the trash out- but then trying to care for a demented 92 year old is no picnic and most caregivers don't make much more than min wage

Now that mom is in memory care I still have private sitters for her and every time the agency has to send someone knew I cringe as it take weeks sometimes for her to accept a new person - sometimes my friend will go to smooth the transition and the three of them will do a jigsaw puzzle - having a friend to make the introduction is better than me personally as she wants no one but me when I am around

Good luck and let us know how it goes
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Someone on here introduced a helper as "the laundress". It's an old fashioned concept that her parents were able to accept. Eventually, the laundress was joined by "the cook" and she was able to get some help with the caregiving chores.
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how about a visitor friend who just helps you tidy up at end of visit. If parents older maybe this old fashion cleaning up middle class after yourself will work. company while doing the chores. like friend needs little extra money to make ends meet. and keep you company since dad busy in paperwork. etc etc.. if territorial. can start w outside coffe snack visit. something to start the clean up. increase services little by little. maybe compliment dad. yea brown nose inflate a guys male ego. they all have one. maybe dads has gone to the sullen macho profile, grunmpy rooster . try inflating preening his ego . maybe it will work.d
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