How do I take care of my parent with a sibling that does not see or give me credit for everything I do?

I also then get treated poorly because of it? I helped take care of my dad and lived with my parents. I did errands constantly asked if my sibling needed help. She'd basically do it then get mad at me for it. He passed away. My mom I live with. My sibling visits every couple weeks. I work PT. she doesn't. I do the errands also. But she feels "stretched". I'm dealing with depression and anxiety. Whenever she helps or does something she makes me feel guilty for it. How do I deal with this?

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You are not doing this for your sister, or your sister's approval, or your sister's praise. You did it for your Dad and now you are doing it for your Mother. It is really too bad that your sister isn't more supportive and appreciative, but that is what it is and really has nothing to do with your self-worth.

I hope you are being treated for the depression and anxiety. If you are not now participating in talk therapy and/or group sessions, I think that would be worth looking in to.
Struggling, does your mom need 24/7 care? Your sister provided care for your dad 24/7? You helped with dad when and how you could. Your sis helps when and how she can.

Medical conditions aside that require the care. Caregiving is a thankless job. Jeanne is correct, you need to do it for your mom without any sort of expectation of gratitude from anybody. Sis most likely will not change and the harder you try to get her to, the more stressed you will become trying to change her. You can only change yourself.

Have you found caregiver support groups? Talking to others in similar situations will help. If mom's care has become too much for you, perhaps it is time to move her to assisted living or whatever care is appropriate.
I am an only child, so in all honesty I can't relate, but my gut says she feels guilty for not doing more so she deals with that by treating you poorly and trying to make you feel guilty. OR she just doesn't want to help out, and so she complains and comes up with a multitude of reasons why it is difficult for her to manage. The truth is, not everyone is capable of caregiving, maybe there are other ways she could help out? Also, try not to let her reactions affect you, her stress and guilt are hers to deal with, you have your own set of emotions to deal with. You get to chose how you react. The next time she complains about helping, say to her, "I'm sorry that you feel this way, is there some other way you can help Mom that works better for your schedule?" See what she says...
PLEASE HELP my sister does not want me to help with my mother its like she thinks I will kill her I cant even go get her without the third degree then if I do get her she is saying I am not doing things right for her what do I do?
You need help for your depression. This isn't about anyone else it's about you.

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