How can I support my husband whose Dad's dying from cancer?
I am also a caregiver of my Mom who is 86 with dementia, Alzheimer's, and diabetes. My husband and I live in my Mom's home. My husband works a very physical job six days a week. I take care of Mom, our 2 households, us and the pets. My father-in-law's cancer has returned and he has chosen no treatment this time. He is going to let it take it's course. Denny is his name. Trying to put this story in a nut shell is difficult. My husband and I have been together for 4 yrs now. My husband and his Dad have had a rocky relationship forever. They reunited 3 yrs ago and have got along well. To me, Denny is not a warm fuzzy guy. He has a negative personality. He is very opinionated and always right. We hear from him more now and I saw him about a month ago. He's open about his dying with comments about death. We both only heard about his cancer returning about 2 months ago. He's never been really family oriented the whole 3 yrs I've known him. He has invited us to his brother's Thanksgiving dinner which we will be going to. His invitation to me on the phone was very harsh. I asked him what day they would be celebrating because I wasn't sure we would be able to make it on Thanksgiving day. No caregiver coverage. He started yelling at me "loud" proclaiming that this will be his last Thanksgiving and went on demanding us to be there no matter what. Of course, I stopped talking and let him know we would figure it out. And we will all be there, including my Mom.
So, I need some advice on how I can be a support for my husband thru this time. I do believe that it is important for us to be able to talk about his Dad's condition. To be honest with you all, we have not talked about it yet. I do know that this has to be bothering my husband. Outward signs, he's self medicating himself. This is actually the first time I've reached out about Denny dying. I believe I need to start talking about it more too.