I am not sure on what to exactly put for details but in a nutshell Dad presented calm, and collective to counselor, as usual. Counselor thinks Dad needs to be more assertive. I do NOT agree.
I brought up the issues with Finances, the anger, the lack of movement (no real pain issues), the behavioral changes, and my perception was disregarded. Counselor has seen Dad a handful of times total.
Counselor informed me it was alright for Dad to yell and scream at me as he was expressing his emotions. At that point I had enough. I was close to walking out of the room. I was BLUNT and stated NO, if he is angry he HAS NO RIGHT to YELL AND SCREAM. (I was so pissed I had all I could do to not show I had temperament issues). I couldn't' win I continually was told I was disregarding my Dads' emotions which is far from the truth.
Whenever Dad was asked a question he downplayed what he was doing if he admitted it and said he was miserable because of me. His cnslr. stated that possibly Dad felt locked in the home (Dad chooses NOT to leave) even when prompted most of the time. He will not join groups, seek friendships, etc.
His anger outbursts were blamed on me and my nagging. The reality on the nagging is Dad will not handle any affairs unless prompted (he get's less than one a day I talked about this in a previous post) . He also ASKS me how to do most of what he needs. This is the "nagging". I purposely avoid conflict and do not ask him to do something unless it is important.important. Honestly the important stuff get's let go at times.
Counselor added I talk to fast and confuse my Dad. I try to go slow not sure on that one. I guess the main issue is how do I get my Dad the help he needs if he is being dishonest? I don't' think I can.
I have noticed a pattern with my Dad throughout his life even prior to the onset of the new symptoms. He blames others for his own issues. He in a way twists the reality of it to make someone else look at fault.
On a good note when I brought up his medication issues, he stated again he was taking them. I brought the bottles. I proved he was not taking them as prescribed. But that alone is not going to make this cnlr see the reality. I am also questioning how good this cnslr is at this point. The Cnslr. stated to me that my Dad feels uncomfortable stating his own needs. This again is not true. During the entire session my Dad was agreeing with the cnslr.'s questions. For example, the cousnlr. would say, you feel as if you don't have a voice and you are not allowed to have feelings? Dad would say yes to them all.
I am almost certain whatever is stemming my Dad's anger needs to be addressed. I do not think that can happen if Dad just agrees with everything the cnlr states and doesn't be at least somewhat realistic. I also thinks the depression needs to be better addressed. The cnsl. at one point stated to me Dad is depressed what do you "expect" him to do? I myself have had depression, and I know all to well you can NOT give into the symptoms in their entirety. You cannot just sit and wallow. It makes it worse. Why were suggestions not made on the depression?
Final note here as I have talked to my Dad on numerous occasions about his depression, getting out, etc. I have spent more hours discussing how he feels and what needs to happen with our family, or him alone. Dad DOES express his needs. Our home is not a dictatorship.
I am thinking this cnslr needs to go. I have been rattled since the appointment. I am not even sure if a cnslr can help my Dad with the information he gives.