My mom is undiagnosed but something has changed. The new behavior has been happening on and off significantly for 6 months (other behavioral changes, maybe a couple of years back).

She very easily gets angry. Her words are harsh and vicious. She cries just like a baby. Sobs loudly and uncontrollably. This happens if there is any change in a situation or slight look or comment.

It’s to the point where we’ve wanted to take her to emergency. We tried having her evaluated several months back, but the psych (in her words ) was rude and sarcastic and said she just needs to get out more. I wasn’t there in the room, so I don’t know what happened. I was in the room for the intake and that person gave her an evaluation and didn’t see any memory issues. My mom is good at chit chatting and BSing her way through things...not sure if that’s possible with a memory test or not.

My mom has also struggled with opioid abuse, but we don’t believe she’s taking any. This could be the change we’re seeing, but I don’t know. Her sibling passed away from dementia this past year, so this could be either.

She asks us the same questions over and over all day long. Right now she’s just furious and this has been a weeklong fit of crying and accusations. When I say “fit” I mean telling us the worst things about us, screaming, locking herself in her room and so on.

Do people with dementia usually remember a conflict they had with someone from the day before?

Hurt and and feeling hopeless. I don’t know how you help someone who is so stubborn.

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Thanks everyone for the responses. Today she is more peaceful and able to talk about her unusual reactions. She blames it on being elderly and said there is nothing to help that.

Shes pretty cagey when discussing looking into further evaluations and past conversations with her doc. She changes the subject and even simply hangs up on me.

Her hygeine is very poor and diet, just as bad. She has become a severe hoarder and is surrounded by things in her room.’s mind boggling how we even got to this point. She does not live with me, but with my sibling who is too ill to really even care for her.

How do you get a feisty woman in her 80’s to 1. See a doctor and specialist 2. Deal with addiction and 3. Possibly change homes?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Sarahk60

If and when you take her to be re-evaluated, you need to be in the room with her and/or speak with the neurologist to find out exactly what was said. People with dementia can “showtime” which means they can act completely normal around strangers. You also need to find out for sure if she is still abusing drugs and where she’s getting them her doctor prescribing them? Does she hoard them? She needs to see her doctor and be checked for a urinary tract infection. My mom had chronic ones. She was checked every month.

Maybe taking her to the ER when she’s in the throes of this behavior would get you answers. She may be referred to a mental health professional. You may see a social worker who can help with placement. Mom definitely has issues and you need to find out with what.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Ahmijoy
Sarahk60 Jul 28, 2018
The showtime comment is very helpful, because I wonder if that’s what’s happening here. She was in the hospital with a uti a couple of months ago, so it could be that.

I dont know if shes being given meds by her doctor. I’ve tried telling them that she has a problem with them, but she’s very good finding a way to get a hold of them.

There is absolutely no way to get her into a doc without there being an emergency and having paramedics come.

Im at a loss.
She needs to see a neurologist. She needs to be checked for a UTI, this is how it manifests itself in the elderly. They have no pain or burning. She needs a complete workup of labs. Write down everything that has happened in the last few months. Give it to the receptionist so the neurologist can review it and ask the right questions..
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to JoAnn29
Sarahk60 Jul 28, 2018
Thank you for your response. It very well could be a UTI, for she was in the hospital recently with a bad one.
Being overly emotional is often associated with vascular dementia - have you done any reading about it?
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to cwillie
Sarahk60 Jul 28, 2018
Yes, I’ve read up on it. A definite possibility. Thank you!
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