I have DPOA, and dad has dementia. I want to respect his wishes, but I take him to his cardiology and neurology appointments. (He thought he might be able to get his drivers license back from one of them) I noticed a 1.5 cm crusty skin cancer lesion, and his teeth (which he hasn’t brushed since August) are now starting to fall out. He often takes his pills incorrectly, even though he has a pill organizer. I’ve mentiined getting a new pill dispenser but he gets angry and argumentative. I’ve showed him how he took too many days worth of pills, and I’ve begged him to let me get someone to help me to help him. He thinks that caring for him only involves bringing him a “hero sandwich” every other day! I’ve mentioned that I’d like him to see a dentist and a dermatologist, and he gets furious and verbally abusive with me. Do I LET him fall apart? I’ve stopped nagging him to shower, so he stopped showering. I figure I need to pick my battles, but where do I draw the line? I am the only person taking care of him because he refuses help from anyone else. The neuropsychologist suggested adult day care and assisted living- but Dad just sits in his apartment smoking cigarettes and watching tv. He refuses to go anywhere! I am fully responsible for him, so I’m not sure if I can step back and do nothing for a week and “see what happens.” He could die if he doesn’t take his pills, or has no food to eat. He has 3 heart issues, and I’m afraid that when his teeth fall out he could get an infection that would affect his heart. I don’t know if the skin cancer can kill him, but he makes things so difficult that I’m losing my mind! I work full time, have my own family, and I have my own serious health issues to deal with. Any advice?