Any suggestions? I have come to resent my siblings because, since I live with Dad, his issues are not their problems.
My sister always says that she will take him out to lunch, to movies etc but tells me "not to tell him" in case "something happens" and she can't take him out that day.
She doesn't work in the summer but last summer she was "busy" with her 22 year old daughter who had outpatient sinus surgery in May!, she couldn't see dad - all summer.

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I think many people are in this boat. I care for my parents who live close My dad broke his hip over 3 years ago and I have to spend at least 16 hours a day at there house to do work and take care of him. I spend the night. What makes me so mad at my dad is that he doesn'w want to even limber up his legs by kicking before he gets up. I sometimes have a hard time standing him up because of this. My brother who lives a few states away comes in every 6 months or so for about 2 weeks. He says he doesn't know how I do this for he can't hardly do it for 2 weeks. but in their eyes he loves to do it and would take care of them if he could. That is wrong I have lived close all these years and have helped them out and they have also helped me. It is a shame that in the end years I have these hard feelings but I feel like I am being taken advanage of. My dad has always been a selfish type of person so not trying to get stronger and letting me carry him through is someting he would do. My husband had rather I stay with them at night than them live with us and I totally understand that. I can't bring in outside help because my mom is so shy about strangers that I have to be there when anyone else is so why waste the money. My brother just starting coming in every 6 months in the last few years. I ask him to come every 4 months for just 4 days but he says that is too much can't afford it but he manages to fly other places a few times a year with the one he lives with and be with their family which he doesn't know I know about. I seem to be the bad child as I begin to loss my temper more because I am totally burn out. At the end everything is to be split down the middle my parents seem to think that is fair I do all the work and everything down the middle. I am beginning to have hard feeling over this since I have given up everything to do this and he is giving up nothing.They don't know how he talks about the family and really belittles us and how mean he has been to me I am just told that I am jelious and I have to love him. I catch it when his live in wants to come up and I don't offer a place to stay willingly when all she wants to do is go antiqueing and of course I am not good enought to be seen with them. I am just a hotel. She hasn't been here for a few years but to keep my mother Happy I have to offer a place. Since this person is also perfect. I do e-mail my brother for my mom a few times a week .I plan on when it is over to just buy him out and he doesn't have to ever bother with me again. I think it is a shame that it comes to this but you can only take so much being put down. My parents have been very hard working honest people and putting them both in the nurseing home would be the only way for me to ever have freedom so I just can't do that. I have a small garden and few chickens for eggs at my house . I had a craft business which I have almost let go and quite my job about 4 years ago. I am retired now My husband would like to do some things but we can't. I had to buy a lift van just to take my dad to the dr. We don't go very much because he is just too much work to get him out since he won't excerise . I am doing the best I can but seems like for some it will never be enought. My parents don't have a clue how much I have really given up to keep them out of the nurseing home. I am so thank-ful for the internet. I can at least see what the outside world is doing. I don't begurage helping my parents but I do begrudge others not. God Bless all the caregivers out there.

She talks a really good line My brother never had kids has always been too busy to
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I'm in the same boat. My mother lives with us. My brother has not called or sent a card for 5 years. I have many neices and nephews (2 brothers deceased) and NONE of them call, send a birthday or christmas card. I'm sure afraid I'll ask them to help give me a break.
I just know in my heart I'm doing the best for the women who loved me the most and a wonderful mom. That is all we can do. God sees what we are sacraficing. Sad because I never want anything to do with them.
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My father died in November. I did all caregiving and management for my parents for 5 years.. My mother went to a nursing home while my father was alive. He had alzheimers and stayed at home in the country and I could not legally get him out of his house (I had no poa for him). I hired help and visited twice a week. Throughout that time my brother who lives far away did absolutely nothing. I am divorced with little money and this whole caregiving alone with no support from family was and is stressful. But I had/have no choice. My parents had only me. My father died after a month and a half in the hospital. I stayed with him and in the last week of his life, I looked after the issue of my poor mother's immense sorrow. My brother came for the last 4 hours of my father's life. He did not come sooner because he knew "that I was usually crying wolf...that I was dramatic". He then started taking over. I did not care too much about that in the early days. He insisted that he be a trustee along with me of my father's estate..everything was left to my mother. His reason, after neglecting my parents for 10 years was that "he wants to look after my mother".
Now I do everything for the estate and for the care of my mother and he does not do a thing except say nay or yay to the things I do. He is still far away. He has seen my mother 4 times since my father's death. Now he has a new found interest in the estate....what's "his" is at the top of the list.
I do not like my angry self. I love my mother and want to at least feel that love in the last years of her life. I do not want to be angry but I cannot seem to do anything about it.
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I totally understand how you feel..i live with my mom and my sister does not come and see her at all...i have tried talking to her wrote her letter, etc....if they don't respond, try to let it go..its hard but remember YOU answer for what you do and you are doing the right thing....will keep you in my prayers....
good luck and keep in touch...
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