My spouse is & was always a natural "question box," which, though mostly helpful in the long run, has grated even more on my nerves since our retirements.
He has most functioning mental capacities, but has some hearing loss & I've noted a short-term memory deficit over the last few years. I admit it is frightening for me to see him w/ the memory deficit.
Today, he asked me a question for the 4th time (had asked same question x 3 over the past several days). I told him we had decided our answer to this same question yesterday.
He got defensive & said I repeat things sometimes & said that at least he is nice enough not to remind me that I repeated something.
That comment stung. Am I wrong or "not being nice" in mentioning to him that he has asked me the same question before (every time he forgets he’s asked me a question)?
Thanks in advance for any suggestions.
I'm sure his comment did sting but you might have to get used to comments like this and not take them personally if he is declining.
If his memory is going, he will ask questions and not remember. It can be frustrating but you should try to find a way to not be annoyed. Give shorter answers on the repetitive rounds of something already discussed if you don't feel like rehashing everything.
Your husband's not-so-nice comment stung you, and your not-so-nice comment stung him. Compassion is best when dealing with one another's shortcomings.
My advice is to have him make an appointment with his PCP for a full medical workup including a cognitive evaluation. Then you'll both know what's going on and if any cognitive impairment is involved.
Good luck